How Motion Calms Fussy Newborns
All babies are born with an innatecalming reflex, which is built-in off switch for crying and fussing and on switch for sleep. To turn on the calming reflex, you need to tap the 5 Ss for soothing babies, which includes Swinging . When a baby is very upset, it takes more effort to turn on the calming reflex. Think of it like this: If a person is engaged in a heated argument, you may have to tap their shoulder several timesvery emphaticallyjust to get their attention. They simply cannot respond to a light tap. Their mind is elsewhere! The same holds true for a very fussy baby.
The solution: vigor! Frantic crying calls for spirited, jitterbug-like bouncing. I know, vigor is the least intuitive, yet one of the most important, elements for successfully calming babies. After all, babies are so delicate that doing anything vigorously seems wrong! But vigor is exactly why car rides on bumpy roads often work wonders at calming fussy babies. Its why in Tanzania, moms soothe intense crying by cuddling their babies while pretending to grind cornvigorously bending and straightening and humming a rough noise. Its also why offering your crying baby some fastbut tinyjiggles is instrumental to flipping on the calming reflex in an upset and screaming, motion-loving baby. I call this the Jell-O Head Jiggle and heres how to do it:
Alternatively, I also love The milkshake jiggle for calming very fussy babies. Heres how to do this vigorous move:
Coping With A Crying Colicky Or Unresponsive Baby
You already know that no two babies are alike, but this reality may still hit you hard when you hear other parents talking about how easy their babies are or how their newborn sleeps peacefully through the night. Try to avoid comparisons and specific expectations, as they can create negative feelingsespecially if you have a very challenging baby. Give yourself a break if you are having feelings you didnt expect. It may take a bit of time to get in sync with your baby, but the extra work will be worth it!
For stressful situationswhen your baby wont stop crying or wont respond to you, and when you are feeling frustrated, tired, and angryyou need to develop some strategies for taking care of yourself. When youre calm and centered, youll be better able to figure out whats going on with your child and soothe his or her cries.
Recognize your limits. Pay attention to internal warning signs when you are feeling overwhelmed. The sooner you spot your personal limits, the easier it is to plan aheadfor extra help, a break, an excursion outside, or a quick pep talk from a friend or loved one. These small steps to prepare will help you get in the best frame of mind to care for your baby.
Reach out for support. If you can, enlist help during the fussiest times of the day. Say yes when people offer to help with housework, meals, or babysitting. Find a group of moms to talk to and get out of the house when you can. Knowing you have some help on the way can make a big difference.
How To Soothe A Baby Crying At Night
When your baby wakes up suddenly crying at night, there are a few quick steps you can run through in an attempt to figure out whats wrong :
- See if their basic needs have been met. Ahmed suggests checking off boxes in your head: Has your baby been fed? Changed? Do they feel warm or cold? Sometimes the solution is as simple as feeding your baby, changing their diaper, or swaddling them again.
- Try to assess if theyre in physical pain. If your baby has been chewing on everything during the day, theyre probably teething and a little gum massage or age-appropriate dose of Tylenol might help. If they seem gassy, Ahmed recommends doing some bicycle kicks or even giving some gas drops but check with your pediatrician.
- Gauge your older babys emotional response to you showing up in their bedroom in the middle of the night. If theyre happy to see you, they probably have separation anxiety. If they settle down as soon as you pick them up or pop the paci back in their mouth, theyve likely become dependent on a sleep prop.
If babys basic needs are met, then its likely they need to develop some self-soothing behaviors for themselves, Ahmed explains.
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What Causes Babies To Be Fussy At Night
Newborns usually need to âcluster feedâ at night time. If Mom is breastfeeding her supply is lower in the early evening and so babies often need to nurse more frequently during this time to stock them up for a longer stretch of sleep. This is usually the first stretch of sleep during the night. It is not uncommon for it to take an hour for you to get your baby to sleep at bedtime until 10-12 weeks of age when the witching period tends to recede.
We all have a âsleep driveâ that signals our brain when itâs time to sleep. Most babies up to 3 months can stay awake no more than ~1.5 hours before it becomes harder to get them to fall asleep and then stay asleep. So your baby wants to eat and sleep – competing needs this time of day. She may be staying up longer than the 1.5 hours to eat and now sheâs tired, which means fussy. In the daytime, I find in my practice that many people mistake fatigue for hunger, especially during the day. Feeding ends up masking the root cause of hunger which is why watching the clock to know when itâs time to sleep can be very helpful.
Nightmares Or Night Terrors
Though most common around 3 to 4 years old, nightmares or night terrors can definitely disrupt a babys sleep and leave them crying hysterically for you during the night. But most babies wont begin having night terrors until 18 months, so if your baby is younger than that, its probably not the cause.
Younger babies are, however, prone to an overactive startle reflex that can often look like theyve woken up from a bad dream.
Babies will startle themselves awake between sleep cycles, Ahmed says, and it just takes a pat on the back or a physical touch to help them back to sleep.
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Am I The Reason My Baby Wont Stop Crying
Are you distracted, overwhelmed, and at breaking point? If youre stressed out and exhausted, youre going to have trouble relating to your baby in a soothing, nurturing way. So, its important to get the support you need.
Fortunately, there are great opportunities for overcoming the limitations a parent or child may bring to the attachment relationship. Parents who learn how to calm themselves, ask for support, and communicate with their infants can find the means for creating a successful attachment relationshipessentially teaching by their exampleeven with an upset or unresponsive infant.
What Causes Colic In Babies
Colic isn’t a sign that you’re not taking good care of your baby or that your baby is sick, although things such as reflux, food allergies, and exposure to cigarette smoke can cause further aggravation and tears. Nor is it necessarily a sign that your baby has belly pain, although the way they grimace, clench their body, arch their back, pull their legs up, and scream till they’re purple can make it seem so.
What causes colicand why some babies experience it and others don’tremains a mystery. Here are some theories:
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New Study Says That Its Okay To Let Babies Cry At Night
- By Claire McCarthy, MD, Senior Faculty Editor, Harvard Health Publishing
ARCHIVED CONTENT: As a service to our readers, Harvard Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date each article was posted or last reviewed. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
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When my eldest was a baby, I remember feeling so torn when she cried during the night. Our pediatrician and my mother both said that it was okay to let her cry for a while and let her learn to go back to sleep. But as I listened to her cry, I wondered: Will this make her too stressed? Will it damage her emotionally? Will it ruin our relationship?
The answer to all of those questions, according to a new study published in the journal Pediatrics, is no. Not only that, if Id done it , my daughter and I might have gotten a bunch more sleep.
To measure the effects on the babies, the researchers did something interesting: they measured the level of cortisol, a stress hormone, in the babies saliva. They also asked the mothers about their levels of stress. Twelve months later, they looked for any emotional or behavioral problems in the babies, and they also did testing to see how attached the babies were to their mothers.
We can get sleep and still have well-adjusted kids who love us. How great is that?
Your baby will be fine.
About the Author
When Should You Consult A Doctor
In most cases, your crying baby can be calmed once his needs are met or through your comforting physical presence. But at times, excessive crying in babies at night can be indicative of a more serious cause, such as an illness. You should contact the paediatrician if your baby wont stop crying at night and one of the following is evident:
- Physical discomfort or signs of illness, such as high fever, rashes and the like
- Signs of fear or stress in your baby
- Remedial measures do not bring about even the slightest change in your childs behaviour in two weeks
Each baby has his own timeline for meeting milestones of physical and emotional growth. It is no different when it comes to sleep schedules. Also, sleep routines can go off track when the baby is sick or if he is on the verge of achieving some milestone. Thus, it is important to remember that when it comes to babies time, patience, and a lot of effort are required to get the needed results.
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Why Newborn Babies Are Fussy In The Evening
If your baby is an angel during the day, but suddenly becomes incredibly fussy at night , you might be experiencing whats commonly known as the witching hour.
It might start right around dinnertime, and it might seem as though theres no cause. It can often feel as though nothing helps your baby calm down. Pacifiers wont hold in the fussiness and the feedings dont seem to provide any relief.
Its important to remember that nearly all babies go through this stage of getting fussy during the evening. It will typically happen after they are a couple of weeks old and might last until they are about three months old.
Why does my infant get fussy at night?
There are several reasons why your baby might be getting fussy right around the same time each evening.
About Newborn Baby Behaviour
Sleeping, feeding, crying. Thats what newborn behaviour is all about in the first few months.
Although your baby might give you some eye contact, crying is probably the main thing youll notice about your babys behaviour. For example, your baby will cry because they feel hungry, unsettled, wet or uncomfortable, or just because they need a cuddle. And sometimes your baby will cry for no obvious reason.
Babies are born with very different temperaments. Some are relaxed and easygoing, and others seem to be more intense. Some seem to move constantly, and others are quieter. Some are cheerful most of the time, and others are more serious.
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Having A Dirty Or Wet Diaper
Some babies can tolerate a wet or dirty diaper for a short time while others may need a change immediately. Putting on a fresh diaper will help the baby go back to sleep again quickly. However, ensure that you change the diaper quickly and dont interact much with your baby while doing so, so he can be soothed back to sleep.
Getting Excited With New Milestones While Sleeping
Getting excited about milestones can also be one of the reasons why baby cries at night suddenly. Your baby might have just started to learn how to roll over, sit up straight, crawl, and stand. All of these new milestones are indeed exciting, but not during sleep. These milestones can be wired as they sleep. One example is when a baby learned how to roll but not rolling over to the other side yet, he might still do this action while he sleeps and ends up crying because he couldnt roll back! Of course, we cannot stop them from moving but we can help them get back to sleep.
How to Soothe:
After knowing the reason why baby cries at night suddenly, follow this tip to soothe them properly:
Lay your baby flat and comfortable as soon as he gets back to sleep. You can also try putting him back to his cot when he is sleepy but still awake so that he knows that he is safe on his bed. Never forget the warmth of your arms to get him back to sleep too, and patience!
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What Colic Looks And Sounds Like
Parents of babies with colic often say that the babies look like they are angry or in pain, have gas, or are trying to go to the bathroom without success. Other characteristics of a baby with colic:
- Higher pitched, more frantic crying
- Sudden crying, starting out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason
- Rigid or stiff body, often with clenched fists
- Bent legs and stomach may feel hard
What Can You Do About It
Here are some ideas you might like to try:
You are working enormously hard to understand and meet your babys needs. Every baby is different, and you are becoming an expert on your baby. There is no right or wrong way to be with your baby there is only what works for you both, today.
This can feel scary at first , but as time goes on, you will feel able to try different ideas for calming your baby, and come up with some new ones. As the weeks go by, you will learn more about what helps your baby and become more confident about knowing when they are OK, and when to get help. As your baby gets older and more experienced, he will find the world, and his own bodily sensations, less alarming.
These early weeks, which can feel like forever, will pass. Before you know it, you will be able to support a newer parent who is wondering how on earth they will get through it, because you did!
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Watch For Attachment Milestones
If your baby has challenges that get in the way of emotional connection, bonding and attachment may suffer. The following attachment milestones can help you recognize your babys attachment progress.
If the milestones are not happening in the right time frame, you should seek help. Fear or stress might make you feel reluctant to evaluate your baby this way, but attachment problems identified early are usually easier to fix.
Pay Attention To Your Babys Signals
The whole world comes to your baby through their senses, and every baby has different sensory needs, which is why one baby might love to be held and another doesnt or one baby will cry because of a wet diaper and another will ignore it and continue to play happily.
Get to know your babys preferences by engaging all of your senses as you try to figure out what your baby needs. Try being especially attentive to:
Changes in mood. Do your babys mood changes seem to coincide with environment changes, the time of day, or in relation to food or naps? For example, if your baby is cranky in the late morning, watch to see if they are sending signals that youre missinglike an isolated yawn or eye rubbing.
Reactions to different situations and environments. Babies often send signals that we as adults just dont notice. Your baby might get overstimulated if too many people are around or become especially upset about schedule changes.
Differences in your babys cries. At first all cries will sound the same, but, gradually, you will hear how the Im hungry cry is very different from the Im tired cry. Notice noise level, pitch and intensity of the cry, as well as your babys body language and facial expressions. An arched back, a scrunched-up face, eyes tightly closed to shut out the light, fists curled up, rubbing eyes, hyperactive or frenetic movementall of these signs communicate something specific about your babys emotional and physical state.
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Attachment Milestone : Attention And Regulation
Attention and regulation go hand-in-hand, because a baby who cant calm down wont be able to pay attention and interact with you.
Your baby has periods when they are calm , attentive , and shows interest in faces, but doesnt necessarily engage with you at this point.
You follow your babys lead. When your baby pays attention to you, you respond with gentle touch, soothing tone of voice, and playful facial expressions. When your baby looks away, you do the same.