Attachment Milestone : Attention And Regulation
Attention and regulation go hand-in-hand, because a baby who cant calm down wont be able to pay attention and interact with you.
Your baby has periods when they are calm , attentive , and shows interest in faces, but doesnt necessarily engage with you at this point.
You follow your babys lead. When your baby pays attention to you, you respond with gentle touch, soothing tone of voice, and playful facial expressions. When your baby looks away, you do the same.
Know When To Seek Help
If you constantly feel overwhelmed and the feeling doesnt go away, you probably need some outside help. Additionally, if you are feeling like you cant pick up on your babys cues or your baby isnt alert enough to engage in the early milestone behaviors, it is important to seek help as soon as possible. Problems that are identified early can almost always be solved.
When Do Babies Develop Colic
Babies develop colic during the first six weeks after birth usually around the time they turn 2 weeks old. Colic goes away on its own, and there is no medical treatment. Excessive crying can last until they are 3 or 4 months old or even as long as six months.
While colic can happen at any point during the day, it is most common between 6 p.m. and midnight.
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Evaluate Your Own Emotional State
When your baby cries for hours on end, it is natural to feel responsible. Often, though, blaming yourself can get in the way of your ability to be calm, present, and responsive to your baby. The relationship with your baby is a partnership, so your emotions will make a difference to how your baby reacts. If you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, angry, anxious, or detached, your baby may have trouble calming down.
Knowing When To Seek Help
How are you feeling right now? Coping with crying can be very challenging. What do you need to feel supported? How can you get this kind of support? Are there friends or family who can help out? Is there a community resource for new parents where you can go for support?
Although crying is they primary way babies communicate, and they are not doing it to make you feel badly, it can be very difficult to take over long periods of time. When babies cry a lot, it can feel like nothing positive is happening between the two of you. Watch your baby carefully. How do you see your baby responding to you in positive ways? For example, does he follow you with his eyes, or prefer to be held by you? Does he turn toward you when he hears your voice, or calm when he sees you coming? Soon, if not already, you will even be getting some smiles!
When to Seek Help
There are times when it is important to seek out the guidance of a trusted health care provider or child development professional to be sure your childs development is on track. You and your baby need support during what can be a difficult time. Moments in which you and/or your child might need some extra help include:
If your childs crying began after she experienced a life change or following a frightening or traumatic experience.
This resource was made possible by generous funding from the Carl and Roberta Deutsch Foundation.
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What Can Be Done About Colic
The first thing you need to do when you suspect that your baby is colic is to have him/her checked by an experienced paediatrician to make sure that he/she is not suffering from any physiological problem.
This will reassure you as a parent and make it easier for you to try various recommended soothing strategies.
Remember this, your baby will suffer if you are feeling tired and stressed from trying to do too much. If you get enough time to rest and take care of yourself, you will be in excellent shape to take care of your baby.
What Can Help A Crying Baby
You can’t spoil your baby with too much attention. To soothe a crying baby:
- First, make sure your baby doesn’t have a fever. In a baby, a fever is a temperature of 100.4°F . Call the doctor right away if your baby does have a fever.
- Make sure your baby isn’t hungry and has a clean diaper.
- Rock or walk with the baby.
- Sing or talk to your baby.
- Offer the baby a pacifier.
- Take the baby for a ride in a stroller.
- Hold your baby close against your body and take calm, slow breaths.
- Give the baby a warm bath.
- Pat or rub the baby’s back.
- Place your baby across your lap on his or her belly and rub your baby’s back.
- Put your baby in a swing or vibrating seat. The motion may be soothing.
- Put your baby in an infant car seat in the back of the car and go for a ride. Often, the vibration and movement of the car are calming.
- Play music some babies respond to sound as well as movement.
Some babies need less stimulation. Babies 2 months and younger may do well swaddled, lying on their back in the crib with the lights very dim or dark. Make sure the swaddle isn’t too tight. Stop swaddling when the baby is starting to be able to roll over.
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Is Your Baby Unresponsive Or Indifferent
Most babies use crying to communicate and they will continue to cry or show that they are upset until a parent or caregiver responds to their needs. Other babies, instead of crying, become upset and then tune out and fail to show any emotion. If you think about it, you probably know more than one adult who acts this way when faced with difficulty. An unresponsive baby might seem like an easy baby, because they may be quiet and agreeable. But a baby that doesnt respond to you, the environment, and sensory influences needs help. Call your pediatrician right away.
NEVER NEVER shake a baby
Shaken Baby Syndrome occurs when a baby is shaken. The blood vessels in a babys head cannot tolerate the impact of shaking and can break.
- The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome estimates that there are about 1,300 reported cases each year in the U.S.
- Shaking is the leading cause of child abuse deaths and can also result in brain damage, mental retardation, seizures, or blindness.
- Shaking usually happens when parents or caregivers become frustrated or angry when they are not able to stop the baby from crying.
- Shaken baby syndrome is 100% preventable.
Coping With A Crying Colicky Or Unresponsive Baby
You already know that no two babies are alike, but this reality may still hit you hard when you hear other parents talking about how easy their babies are or how their newborn sleeps peacefully through the night. Try to avoid comparisons and specific expectations, as they can create negative feelingsespecially if you have a very challenging baby. Give yourself a break if you are having feelings you didnt expect. It may take a bit of time to get in sync with your baby, but the extra work will be worth it!
For stressful situationswhen your baby wont stop crying or wont respond to you, and when you are feeling frustrated, tired, and angryyou need to develop some strategies for taking care of yourself. When youre calm and centered, youll be better able to figure out whats going on with your child and soothe his or her cries.
Recognize your limits. Pay attention to internal warning signs when you are feeling overwhelmed. The sooner you spot your personal limits, the easier it is to plan aheadfor extra help, a break, an excursion outside, or a quick pep talk from a friend or loved one. These small steps to prepare will help you get in the best frame of mind to care for your baby.
Reach out for support. If you can, enlist help during the fussiest times of the day. Say yes when people offer to help with housework, meals, or babysitting. Find a group of moms to talk to and get out of the house when you can. Knowing you have some help on the way can make a big difference.
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How Is Colic Diagnosed
The healthcare provider will ask about your childs symptoms and health history. He or she will give your child a physical exam. You may be asked questions such as:
- How long and how often does your baby cry?
- Have you found anything that seems to trigger the crying?
- What comfort methods help to calm your baby, if any?
Blood tests and X-rays or other imaging tests may be done. These can help find out if your baby has other health problems.
Tips For Keeping Your Cool And Calming Your Baby Down
Remember that your baby has feelings. Babies are emotional beings and experience feelings of happiness, sadness, joy, and anger from the very first moment of life. If, for whatever reason, you are having trouble being responsive to your baby, your child will pick up on those signals. How would you feel if your spouse or parent was unresponsive to your signals or attempts to communicate? Thinking of your baby as an individual with a unique personality may make it easier to interpret and respond to his or her cries.
Choose some techniques for taking a time out. Strategies like counting to ten, going outside, taking deep breaths, putting your baby down and walking around the house for a minute, can all help you maintain a calm frame of mind.
Find a mantra. A mantra is a sound, word, or phrase, often said over and over again, to provide comfort and inspiration. With a crying baby, you may find yourself talking out loud anyway, and a mantra can help provide perspective, comfort, and energy to keep going. Some examples might be: Just breathe,This is hard, but doable, and All will be well.
Baby blues or postpartum depression?
Exhaustion, rapidly shifting hormones, and a challenging child might make you feel frustrated, sad, or even depressed. If you find yourself feeling depressed, worthless, or resentful or indifferent towards your baby, dont try to wait it out. See: Postpartum Depression and the Baby Blues
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Consider Other Relief Strategies
If the cause of crying is still a mystery, try:
- rocking baby in a chair or in your arms
- swaddling your baby
- placing them in a windup swing
- giving them a warm bath
- singing to them
If you suspect your babys in pain, check hands, feet, and genitalia for a hair tourniquet , which can certainly set your baby off.
Crying Reason #: Internal Temperature
If baby is overheated or cold, they may be uncomfortable and will try to communicate through crying. This can happen if they are swaddled in a thick blanket, or if theyre wearing a jacket while in a car seat. Baby should have a jacket they wear in their car seat that is different from a typical winter jacket: one that is not too puffy and doesnt cause them to overheat. You can also remove babys jacket, and then place it over them once they are in their car seat.
Make sure that baby is sleeping in a cool environment, and has proper covering on their body. They should also stay in the shade when outdoors, or bundle up for cold weather.
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What Not To Do When Your Baby Is Crying
It can be stressful and frustrating at times when your baby is crying, especially when you can’t get them to settle down.
Whats important is that you never:
- shake your baby this can cause bleeding in their brain, which can lead to brain damage and even death
- become angry with your baby, including raising your voice, smacking, or handling them roughly
- stay physically close to your baby when you feel youre feeling angry
If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed by your babys crying, place them in their cot and walk away. Return when youre feeling calm. Be mindful of your own mental health and see your GP or child health nurse if youre feeling anxious or depressed.
Watch For Attachment Milestones
If your baby has challenges that get in the way of emotional connection, bonding and attachment may suffer. The following attachment milestones can help you recognize your babys attachment progress.
If the milestones are not happening in the right time frame, you should seek help. Fear or stress might make you feel reluctant to evaluate your baby this way, but attachment problems identified early are usually easier to fix.
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What To Do When My Baby Wont Stop Crying
In a study on constant crying intervention, when parents of babies who had colic were taught to answer cries swiftly, consistently, and completely, infant crying was reduced by 60 percent.
When mothers demonstrated less sensitive or affectionate reaction to the newborn, the infant was likely to become a persistent crier.
Here are the steps suggested by researchers.
What Should I Do If Nothing Seems To Help
- Put your baby in her cot and let her cry for a few minutes out of your range of hearing. Take deep breaths and let yourself relax for a moment or two.
- If you and your baby are both upset and you’ve tried everything, call a friend or relative for support. Give yourself a break and let someone else take over for a while.
- Find a local support group or parent-and-baby group. That way you can meet other new parents in the same situation and offer each other moral support.
- Talk to your health visitor or GP about coping strategies before everything gets too much. Don’t let things build up, as it could make things harder for you and your baby.
- Call a helpline. Cry-sis offers support seven days a week for parents of babies who have sleep problems or who cry excessively. Contact Cry-sis on 08451 228 669.
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Put Yourself In Their Place
If your babys cry or cues hold no insight to what is troubling her, think about what would bother you if you were them. Is the TV too loud? Is the overhead light too bright? Would you be bored? Then take the appropriate action.
If you suspect your baby is bored, carrying them around in a front-facing carrier or taking them outside in a stroller offers a welcome change of scenery.
To mask ambient sounds in the household and recreate the shushing your newborn heard in the womb, provide calming white noise, such as turning on a fan or the clothes dryer.
Are There Certain Times Of The Day When My Baby Will Cry More
There sure are. The hours when your baby is more likely to cry are called the witching hour for good reason. Youll probably notice the hours between 5 p.m. to 12 a.m. are most difficult for your baby.
These trying hours begin when your baby approaches 2 to 3 weeks of age. But, thankfully, they peter out when your baby reaches about 3 months old.
Theres no definitive answer as to why these predictable fussy periods happen, but most experts agree that a full days stimulation and lower maternal milk supply at night are big contributors.
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What Causes Baby Crying
Babies dont cry for fun. They dont throw tantrums just to get their way.
There are always reasons why they cry, but it may not be a reason you agree with or feel worth crying about.
Many types of infant cries exist. Most parents learn to distinguish the type of crying or the meaning of their babys cries within 2 weeks of age and they can respond accordingly1.
Here are some common reasons babies cry.
Pain-induced cries have significantly stronger amplitudes and are more intense.
Hunger cries, although not as strong as pain-induced cries, are still more intense than fussy cries.
Answer The Babys Crying Quickly
There were many parenting pamphlets written between 1920s and 1940s that warned parents not to pick up a baby between feedings because that would lead to spoiled, fussy children5.
Since then, studies after studies have shown that responding quickly to an infants cry during their first few months will decrease their crying significantly by the end of their first year. Infants whose mothers ignore their cries or delay in responding to them are the ones who show the stereotype of the spoiled child by the age of one.
So the first step in soothing a crying baby is to respond to them and do not ignore the babys cues for help.
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Common Myths About Colic
Dealing with colicky babies can be quite challenging, and you can easily believe everything that you read about the condition. However, some information found online and in books about colic is untrue and will not help you so much. Here are some of the common myths about colic that you need to stop worrying about.
Why Is My Baby Crying For No Reason
It can be frustrating and distressing when your baby is crying for no reason and wont stop.
For new parents, it can also be confusing.
Why does my newborn cry for no reason when nothing seems wrong?
Heres the thing babies dont cry for no reason.
But babies may cry for no reason that you can identify yet.
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