What Is A Newborn
First, I think we need to specify what the newborn phase is. I think it is about from birth to 2-3 months of life. After that, you have a baby not so much a newborn. Theyre getting the hang of living in the air-breathing world. Theyre more aware, interactive, and happy to live here.
I liked what I read in this Web MD article that said your child wont understand manipulation until 9 months.
Keep in mind average newborn babies cry about 3 hours/day in the first few months of life. It is their only way to communicate their needs. It isnt manipulating you it is just getting their needs met. If you find that your baby has excessive crying Id definitely talk with your pediatrician.
Remember that babies cry as their only form of communication. The good news is that youre just needing to meet their basic needs and once those are met you can take care of your own basic needs too.
Also remember that your lactation consultant will often say to keep the baby close so you can watch for feeding clues in your young infant, to feed them breast milk before theyre starving. It will likely make nursing easier.
At What Age Can A Baby Be Spoiled
Your baby may have varying needs and wants. By the time he or she is 6 or 7 months old, you might be able to withstand their requests a little at that time.
Its not so much that youre pampering them if you give in to every request, but it could be more advantageous to teach them some boundaries, especially if itâs for their own safety.
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Know When To Hold ’em
You Can’t Spoil a Baby.
Ask any 15-year-old if they know any spoiled kids, and they’ll rattle off a slew of examples : one friend whose parents gave her a $2,000 shopping spree, another who got a new car at 16 … you get the picture. But if you’re the parent of a newborn, don’t sweat it, at least not yet. You can’t spoil a baby.
Contrary to popular myth, it’s impossible for parents to hold or respond to a baby too much, child development experts say. Infants need constant attention to give them the foundation to grow emotionally, physically and intellectually.
“A challenge of the newborn is getting to know that the world is somehow reliable and trustworthy, that his or her basic needs will be met,” says J. Kevin Nugent, director of the Brazelton Institute at Children’s Hospital in Boston and a child psychologist.
Responding to baby’s cues “isn’t a matter of spoiling,” he says. “It’s a matter of meeting the child’s needs.”
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Can You Spoil A Baby
You have a lot to worry about when you have a newborn. Things like feedings and diaper changes and if youll ever get a good nights sleep again. But theres one thing you dont have to worry about: spoiling your baby. When your baby cries , your instinct may be to leap into action to pick her up and see if shes hungry or wet and to soothe her.
Thats when you might hear someone perhaps a well-meaning in-law or neighbor make a comment like, Youre going spoil her if you do that. You dont want to spoil her, do you? And your mind goes to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and you worry about having a little Veruca Salt in a few years.
Nobody wants a spoiled child, and setting limits and expectations can be a challenge for parents, but its a challenge for later on, not for when you have an infant.
Doctors, child development experts and scientific researchers agree
You cannot spoil your baby by responding when they cry or by holding them too much.
In fact, holding and loving and responding to your baby is just what they need from you. Babies cry because theyre hungry, most often, but also if theyre wet or cold or need to burp. And sometimes they just want to be held close and comforted. Crying is their way of communicating that to you. Its a signal that they need your care and attention.
So dont worry about spoiling your new baby. Hold, hug and snuggle them as much as possible. And dont worry about how little youre sleeping, either. Itll get better.
Is It Ok To Hold My Newborn All The Time
Essentially, no. You need to shower, use the bathroom, eat, etc. All those things are a good idea.
Plus, baby needs a chance to use their muscles to raise their head and stretch out. If you watch baby physical therapists on Tiktok its amazing how many muscles a baby can actually be learning to use.
Dad also needs time to interact how he would prefer with the baby!
You really shouldnt hold the baby 24/7.
I actually loved this podcast on how to play with your newborn.
How to hold a baby with other children
One of the hardest things is when you have a baby that you feel needs you close, but you have other kids. You cant exactly always meet the babys needs and not meet their needs as well as feed them.
I LOVED babywearing, especially on my 3rd who just seemed to need me closer. Some people call this kangaroo care as youre able to keep the baby in a pouch but also still get stuff done.
Because my babies were really active I never felt safe with them in a sling . I also never got the hang of Mobi wraps where I had to do straps over all my body.
In the early days, I used a Bjorn. You can often find these cheaper in kids second-hand stores .
And, once they were over 2 months I switched to the Ergo. My daughter was in that thing a LOT til about age 2 . I loved it and I think they make a quality product .
Thats just what worked best for me Id ask around, maybe try a few friends to see what you think will work for you.
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Dont Worry About Spoiling A Baby It Cannot Be Done
Posted April 25, 2020
New parents are often told not to spoil the baby. Some people envision little emperors demanding their way, with parents running around like servants. How undignified.
True, people who feel entitled are very annoying. They think they are better than the rest of us and deserve special treatment, and throw tantrums when they dont get the treatment they expect.
But does the entitled emperor analogy aptly apply to a baby?
It is true that babies expect a lot. They have built-in needs for growth that require particular care, represented in the evolved nest . With only 25% of adult brain volume at full-term birth, they need an external womb experience to grow properlymillions of synapses a second. They must feel good to grow wella good biochemistry, rather than a stressed biochemistryis fundamental to growing brain cell connections .
Babies will let you know when they feel something is not right. Traditional societies watch gestures and grimaces for early signals and move to keep baby happy before distress sets in. Hunter-gatherers are attentive to babys state and move in quickly . It is best for caregivers to practice learning babys signals early on and it will get easier and automatic with practice.
To build a resilient body and brain, caregivers need to be ready to provide the support needed. Sensitive periods for growth last till around age 6, when 90% of brain volume is set to be completed.
Why are people so impatient with babies?
Can You Spoil A Baby According To Science
When it comes to babies and young children, many parenting tips advocate leaving the baby to self soothe from a very young age. Conversely, other experts vehemently affirm that you can never spoil your baby.
Which is correct?
Heres what the latest research says about four common hitching points that often make parents question themselves.
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What Your Baby Needs
Your baby develops the cognitive ability to connect his to her actions to your responses. Research has proven that responding to your babys needs consistently will benefit his or her well-being today and well into the future. Consistently responding to your babys cries, cues and vocalizations will teach your baby that you are:
The One Way You Can Spoil A Baby And Its Not What You Think
One of the first pieces of advice I got as a new mom was not to spoil your baby. Find out what research says CAN spoil your baby. Its not what you think.
At twenty-three-years-old, she was sensitive to the fact that most of the moms around her were older and more experienced. When it came to three-month-old Mila, she really wanted to do it right.
Every Thursday she would pack up the stroller and take a bus to the health unit. On the second floor was a brightly coloured room filled with fisher price toys, blocks, and babies doing their best to roll around. Moms gathered to learn hear a public health nurse speak about different topics such as tummy time and first foods to feed your baby.
She always arrived a little late and embarrassed.
The bus dropped her off with only minutes to spare. She was always slightly sweaty from pushing the stroller uphill from the bus stop. Anxious, she would press the elevator button several times begging it to come faster.
Upstairs, she was the last to park her stroller and go in. Her entrance always seemed to turn heads. Silently, she pled that the moms in the already formed circle of chairs would let her in. Their babies were all on the padded flooring trying desperately to grab toys just out of reach. She would hold onto Mila.
She felt out of place amongst the other mothers who had established careers and long-standing marriages. They were coiffed, composed, and ready.
Despite the perceived judgment, Amanda went anyways.
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Final Thoughts: Can You Spoil A Baby
When your baby is a newborn or less than a year old, dont worry, too much attention will not spoil her or instill bad habits. On the contrary, use this time to shower your newborn with attention and reassurance.
If you are looking for more tips and advice on infant sleep, calming techniques, breastfeeding, and more, check out the The Happiest Baby on the Block book.
Have questions about a Happiest Baby product? Our consultants would be happy to help! Connect with us at .
Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person orcondition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child oryourself, please contact your health provider.
Myth No : Schedules The Earlier The Better
For at least the first three months of an infant’s life, pediatricians say parents should throw out their expectations about schedules or routines. Your little one will rule the roost, and that’s as it should be. Some infants are needier than others, but part of a new parent’s job is scoping out a baby’s needs, personality and temperament.
“Your baby is the only guide you’ve got,” says Nugent. “If you see him thriving on what you’re giving, then you’re all set. If he’s still not feeling happy and contented, then you have to change. Everything from the batting of an eye to the loudest cry to a color change, a startle, a tremor are part of the baby’s little vocabulary to tell you, ‘This is who I am and what I’m all about.’ “
Feeding on demand is imperative. Babies, even premature infants, will typically eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’ve had enough. Expect rapid changes, too. Infants typically go through growth spurts at 2 to 3 weeks, 2 to 3 months, and 6 months. It’s unlikely, Campbell says, that “the baby is overeating and getting too fat.”
One area where it does make sense to help the baby develop a pattern is with night and naptime sleep patterns, but only after age 3 months, when babies typically don’t need a night feeding anymore. Making sure you put them down to sleep at a regular time helps infants set their internal clocks and teaches them a sense of order.
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So You Can Spoil Your Baby Its Just Not The Way You Would Think
Taking the immense amount of research on attachment theory into account, spoiling a baby is possible just not in the way the old wives tale would have us believe. An infant or young child who comes to expect their parent for security one that has been held, hugged, and soothed often actually becomes more independent. These young children start to view their caregivers as a secure base. Because they know their parents will be there when they need them, these kids feel empowered to venture out into their environment and, eventually, the world. Conversely, a parent who backs away from their child when their child needs them creates insecurity and uncertainty. These young children are reportedly less independent and competent.
And so, spoiling your baby is possible. And, it does become possible based on the frequency we respond to their cries and the amount we hold them. Its just the reverse of what the old wives would have us believe. Not holding and responding to our children is proven to do more harm than help. Responding, holding and consoling our babies is, in fact, the best way to parent during this tender age.
Can You Hold A Newborn Too Much
First off, I want to state categorically that mothers are born with instincts.
One of the saddest things about hospital birth is that I think we remove a lot of the instinct, by us following research and having safe patterns of practice.
When I hear home birth stories I get chills. Your body knows what to do, for the most part .
BUT, you as a mom you have this baby. You dont have your friends baby and your particular baby has his/her own unique needs and wants. You were given them for a reason, and you have your own parental instincts.
So, I think the question you need to ask yourself:
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Can You Spoil A Baby Research
The research all seems to point to no. You cant spoil them. However, this post is about new moms spoiling a newborn.
I didnt actually find many studies that took the amount of time in moms arms for the first 2 months and coping/life skills later on. So, take that for what it is worth.
Many people believe that holding the baby more will provide a secure attachment, but as long as youre responding to babys needs fairly timely I think most babies handle some alone time fine.
Tell The Naysayers To Go Bye
If someone accuses you of overcoddling your child, tell them with a straight face that its your job and you take it seriously. There is no way to spoil a newborn baby because they arent demanding designer clothes and five-star restaurant meals. Their needs are basic, their minds innocent, and their bodies responding to the feelings they experience in the moment.
Use this list to challenge the people in your life who claim that you’re spoiling a newborn by doing what you were born to do for them, care for them the way a loving mother would.
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Can You Spoil A Baby 5 Reasons Why This Is Impossible
There is nothing like having a newborn baby. It will test your patience and increase your limits we are talking about physical, mental, and emotional limits. Oh, and you will find yourself constantly waiting for the day youll get to sleep for 8 hours again.
But having a newborn baby means loving another person like you never did before. Maternal instincts, which you might have thought you didnt have, will surface. Dont be surprised to see yourself becoming fiercely protective of your little one.
When you act according to your maternal instincts, you will respond to your newborn babys cries every single one of them. Are they hungry? Are they sleepy? Are they getting overstimulated? Are they seeking your comfort? You will respond to these cries because you know your baby needs you.
And you think youre doing a great job mothering until a relative or a stranger tells you that youre doing it wrong.
Nursing To Sleep Wont Spoil Your Baby
If youve been around a while you know that I talk a lot about the difference between nursing TO sleep and nursing BEFORE sleep, and that once you are starting to sleep train then you definitely dont want to be nursing TO sleep.
That being said, it is going to happen with your newborn, and its totally ok! When they are itty bitty you do not need to be focused on independent sleep.
Newborns do not have self-soothing skills, and one of the ways they love to be soothed is nursing. So during those first three months, its totally ok if your newborn falls asleep at the end of nursing.
However, there are two things you want to be cognizant of. One, is making sure you are getting in good full feeds and your baby isnt falling asleep before they are full. The other is, as you get closer to the four-month mark, you can start putting greater time between nursing and sleeping, so you are only nursing before sleep instead of TO sleep. This will help greatly when you start sleep training.
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