Should A Newborn Baby Cry It Out
NO, you should not try to sleep train a newborn baby with the cry it out method. Crying is the only way your newborn can communicate their needs. They will cry to tell you that they are hungry, that they need their diaper to be changed, that they are hot , that they are sleepy and so much more. So, allowing your newborn to cry it out is the same as ignoring them when they are trying to tell you something.2
With that said, there are times where your newborn will cry no matter what you do. Especially if your baby has colic. A baby who has colic will cry for what seems like no reason, cry at the same time every day, cry for 3 or more hours a day, more than 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks.3
As you can imagine, it would be very hard to console a newborn who has colic. Just remember to remain relaxed. And, if your newborns crying makes you feel like your losing control, its perfectly fine to place your baby in their crib and go to another room to collect yourself.4
How To Do The Cry It Out Method And For How Long
Of course every family is different. If you do end up deciding to use a more traditional cry-it-out method of sleep training, here’s how to do it:
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Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider.
Never Shake Your Baby
Your babys crying can be very stressful. You may feel frustrated that you cant seem to stop the crying.
However, you should never shake your baby. Shaking your baby is a critically dangerous thing to do. Shaking your baby can cause bleeding in their brain, leading to brain damage and even death. If you feel you are losing control, leave your baby in a safe place for 5 minutes while you calm down.
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Why Naps Are Important
Any parent will tell you that they are more irritable and struggling throughout the day when their child has missed naptime.
They may also have feeding issues, meltdowns, and challenges with bedtime later at night. When children become sleep-deprived, their stress hormones increase.
This creates the opposite effect as it energizes them and causes them to stay awake longer into the night.
How Long To Let Baby Cry It Out For Naps
By: Author Clara Johnson
Being a new parent comes with its fair share of challenges no one is ever prepared for.
95% of that struggle will involve having to deal with a little human whose only mode of communication is screaming your eardrums numb.
Most parents, especially the new ones, panic whenever their baby cries, which is a perfectly normal indicator that your maternal/paternal instincts are working.
However, it is essential to note that you can use the crying to your advantage.
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How Long Can You Let Baby Cry As Part Of Crying It Out Sleep Training
Now, not every baby was able to complete cry it out in 1-2 hours. There were some babies who took longer, although they were in the minority.
There have been a few babies that did cry for longer the longest one reported was just shy of 3 hours. However, that particular parent reported that they did do timed checks on their baby. And then they decided that doing timed checks was a horrible idea that prolonged the crying.
They reported things went much better the next nights without the in-person checks on their baby. Instead, they kept track via a video monitor.
So theres no official upper limit on how long you have to let the baby cry it out. It just depends on what you choose to do.
What Are The 3 Types Of Baby Cries
The three types of babys cry are:
- Hunger cry: Newborns during their first 3 months of life need to be fed every couple of hours.
- Colic: During the first month after birth, about 1 in 5 newborns may cry because of colic pain.
- Sleep cry: If your baby is 6 months old, your child should be able to fall asleep on their own.
30.03.2021
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Attachment Milestone : Gestures And Problem Solving
Your babys new motor skillsscooting, crawling, pointing, and maybe walkingshould lead to better communication and connection with you.
Your baby starts to combine their motor and nonverbal skills with their need to solve problems. For example, your baby might point to something out of reach or crawl to the highchair when hungry.
You continue to respond to your babys cues and use words, facial expressions, and gestures of your own to confirm to your baby that the messages are heard.
Attachment Milestone : Shared Joy
Sharing joy with your baby establishes a connection between sensory experiences and safe and loving interaction with another person.
Your baby seeks engagement with you and participates in the back-and-forth exchange of gestures, smiles, sounds, and movement. Your baby will probably need frequent breaks from interacting.
You continue to let your baby lead the exchange. When your baby wants to interact, you respond with playful activity. If your baby wants to take a break, you slow down.
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Lack Of Nap Time Routines
Finding a sleep routine that works for your baby can be difficult, and napping becomes irregular. Implementing a schedule will help create a routine to follow each day.
The author of Twelve Hours of Sleep by Twelve Weeks, Suzy Giordano, suggests a morning nap about two hours after they initially wake up.
A second nap begins about two to three hours after the first nap has ended. Once this routine is in place, you can make some adjustments according to your daily schedule, but establishing a guideline will make nap time easier each day.
Letting Older Children Cry It Out Isnt As Effective
Once your toddler is out of a crib and has begun communicating their opinions, cry it out becomes a less appealing option.
Why is that? Well, a toddler who isnt in a crib has more say in where they sleep. They dont always stay put.
Some of them will throw a pretty epic tantrum if allowed to cry themselves to sleep. In many cases, these kids will totally trash their bedroom as a way of expressing their outrage.
Plus, its a lot harder to hear a child crying it out when they can talk.
So letting an older child cry it out as a sleep training method isnt going to be as effective or as easy for anyone involved.
If youd like to know more about how to sleep train older kids, Ive got a whole guide for working with toddlers up through teenagers right here. There are actionable steps you can use today to make progress immediately.
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A Note On Sleep Training
What most people dont know is that even so-called sleep-trained babies still wake at least 3 or 4 times a night. This fact falls under the radar because were talking about slight nighttime rousing, not eyes-wide-open waking. Why Im telling this? Your goal shouldnt be to reach an elusive milestone, but rather, to teach your baby to self-soothe when she inevitably wakes at 2am.
Sleep Experts Cant Agree On How Long To Let Baby Cry It Out
While doing my own research into how long we should let our kids cry it out, I discovered that the sleep experts cant agree on how long that should be.
In fact, some of them avoid listing any timeline at all in their books! The few that do list times are all over the place.
- Some books say 10-15 minutes is how long your baby should cry before you check on them.
- Other books say letting your baby cry will just take as long as it takes then it uses examples that say it took 25-30 minutes.
- Yet other books say its going to take 45-60 minutes.
During my research, I couldnt find a book that advocated letting your child cry it out any longer than 60 minutes at a time.
However one of our kids took somewhere between 1-2 hours to cry it out the first night. And as I survey other parents, they are reporting similar findings.
In other words, theres no set timeline that everyone can agree upon. So dont feel bad if your child doesnt fit the still-evolving narrative.
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You Dont Have To Let Baby Cry It Out To Sleep Train
Now, not every baby has to cry it out in order to sleep train. Some babies will actually sleep train better using a different method.
So whether you dont like the idea of letting your baby cry without comforting them or its just not working, thats okay.
You do not have to let your baby cry in order to effectively and efficiently sleep train them.
There are plenty of other methods for you to use.
When Can You Let A Newborn Cry To Sleep
Starting Signs
Between the ages of four to seven months, babies may show starting signs that they are ready for sleep-training. Parents who want to use the cry-it-out method of sleep training can teach their babies to soothe themselves to sleep at this age as long as they exhibit some signs that they are sleepy, such as yawning, eye rubbing, slowing of movements, or staring. They must show some pattern or schedule of sleeping and waking during daytime and night time. Unlike newborn infants, babies of this age can also roll over, lift their heads and move themselves to find their own comfort without being stuck in a certain position. Generally, wait until your baby’s 4-6 months old.
Do These Methods Work?
The cry-it-out method of sleep training may work for some families after a few tries and the baby can sleep by themselves throughout the night. However, not all babies are the same, and in some families, this method does not work. Furthermore, while this sleep-training technique may work for your first baby, it may not be effective for your next baby. Therefore, just because this method is effective for some, it does not mean that it works for everyone, and it does not mean that you are not doing anything right. It may be a sign that you need to use another method of sleep-training.
Warning: There’s a Limit
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Not All Cries Require Immediate Attention
Not all cries are created equally. Some cries may need to be attended to immediately, while others can wait.
Learning which cries need immediate attention and which can wait takes practice and experience, as well as an intimate knowledge of your childrens particular cries.
Then once youve got several children, youre going to have to prioritize the cries and get to them as youre able to.
Example: When one child is crying because theyre hungry and another child is also crying because theyre hurt, Im going to help my hurt child first. The hungry kiddo can wait five minutes.
Furthermore, sometimes its okay to delay responding to a cry if you absolutely need a break. Its far better to endure a crying baby for a few minutes than to lose your temper, your mind, or both.
As a pediatric emergency department nurse, I saw scenarios far too often where frustrated and exhausted parents didnt take a break with heartbreaking consequences.
If you need a break, please put the baby down and walk away. Calm down, get help, and remember that not every cry requires immediate attention.
How Long Does It Take For A Baby To Self
Babies have different time frames for self-soothing to sleep. Some take 30 minutes while some take 1 2 hours to soothe themselves to sleep.
Babies have ways to self-soothe themselves based on their emotional development. For example, some babies cry, some talk to their stuffed toys and some chew their pacifier to sleep. Every baby is different and has their own way of managing their emotional responses. As early as three months old, you can already teach your baby how to soothe themselves.
Even if babies have already developed their soothing techniques, they can still experience distress if left alone to cry for an extended amount of time.
Teaching your baby how to self-soothe is an essential life skill, it can teach your baby how to calm themselves down in different situations. In addition, when they turn six months old, there is a higher chance that they are now more capable of sleeping for eight or more hours without interruption.
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Is Letting A Newborn Cry To Sleep Ok
Child experts agree that newborn babies are too young to train to sleep on their own. Although many pediatricians and other experts have their own opinions on how to sleep-train a baby, everyone agrees that this process should start when the baby is a little older. Sleep-training is a process where the parent or care giver either allows a baby to cry it out or a parent to sit it out until the baby is asleep. The baby is being trained in these methods to put herself to sleep and to sleep longer at night. However, babies who are below three months old are not able to stop crying or soothe themselves to sleep unless their needs are met. These include the need for feeding and frequent change of diapers, which occur more often compared to older babies. In conclusion, the age of your baby is a huge factor in determining whether or not you should let her/him cry to sleep.