Mistake #: Feeding Or Rocking Your Baby To Sleep
It’s common to fall into this pattern because feeding and rocking your baby are pretty much all you do in the beginning . Since newborns need to eat every two to three hours and their sleep-wake cycles are so chaotic, they frequently doze off at the end of a meal.
While your baby is adjusting to life outside the womb, falling asleep after feeding is just fine. It’s only after the first 3 to 4 months of life that you may want to switch up your sleep time strategy. “During the first few months, babies don’t have any strategies for soothing themselves, and they don’t form bad habits,” Ari Brown, M.D., author of Baby 411, tells Parents. “But around 4 months, they mature neurologically and start to develop sleep routines.”
At this point, feeding or rocking can become an issue if it’s the only way you can get your child to fall asleep. “Babies naturally wake up two to six times a night, which means that whatever you’re doing to get them to sleep at bedtime, you’ll need to do that same thing whenever stir,” says Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., author of Sleeping Through the Night.
Getting Your Baby Used To The Day
Its a good idea to start getting them used to the day-night cycle early on. During the day:
- make day feeds fun with time talking and cuddling.
- have the curtains slightly open when theyre sleeping.
- keep your everyday noises normal use the vacuum cleaner and shower etc, even if theyre sleeping. Most babies sleep through household noises.
During the night:
- keep the room quiet, and the lights low.
- when your baby cries in the night, settle or feed them as soon as you can.
- give night feeds in the bedroom. Babies need to feed at night for the first six months so they get enough food for growth and development. Feeding them in the bedroom will help keep these feeds short and make them different from daytime feeds.
- dont play or talk to your baby while feeding. This will hopefully help them settle back to sleep easier.
These first few months can be a struggle for parents suffering from sleep deprivation and the demands of caring for a new baby, but dont worry, it’ll get better.
Remember, the most important things in these early months are responding to your baby and being flexible. If your babys unsettled, its fine to cuddle or rock them to sleep. Its also okay if your baby sometimes falls asleep while theyre feeding. Do what works best for you and your baby.
Week 3 Of The Newborn Sleep Schedule
Now that your baby is about 3 weeks old and is getting the hang of full feeds and has their days and nights mostly fixed, its time to start thinking about teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own.
Why worry about this so early?
Heres why because they are probably already doing it at this point and their drive to sleep is still strong.
2 and 3 week old babies often go to sleep on their own without much fuss, and if you want that to continue then now is the time to start good habits. Some babies wont fall asleep in the bassinet, but you can help achieve this without much fuss.
As babies get bigger theyll stop this and thats when you get in a pickle. Moms find themselves victim of the nap trap with no end in sight.
Having to jump through hoops and use newfangled vibrating equipment, washing machines, and cars to get baby to sleep.
These lovely cards and checklists will help you create and keep healthy wind down and sleep routines for your little ones.
Next, well talk about finding and crafting a good routine for a baby that meets all their needs in a timely way that encourages full bellies and rested babies.
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Create The Ideal Room Environment
The brain becomes more alert when exposed to bright lights, thus making it difficult to go back to sleep.
Nighttime feeding is best done in a room with dim lights, minimal noise, and a comfortable temperature. Well, this should be the exact setup of your babys sleep space is the first place.
You can also read this article about baby light show projectors, because many parents share your experience and many of them are happy with the light show projector in the baby room read this review here!
Use Night Time Rituals
If you create a consistent, yet boring routine, it is more likely that your newborn will sleep through the night. A bath, reading a story, singing a lullaby, or rocking for a few minutes are great ways to consistently wind your baby down for bedtime.
Many babies will prefer a specific sleepwear item to provide feelings of comfort, safety, and security as they head to bed. Medical studies have shown that babies sleeping in wool sleepwear settle more quickly, cry less, sleep longer, and even feed better. Woolino products are an excellent option as they are made with the Magic of Merino Wool, and the benefits are countless.
Putting your newborn to sleep with a predictable nighttime ritual will also come in handy down the road when your baby begins to go through sleep regressions.
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Hold Your Newborn Until Hes Asleep
Frustrated when you put your baby down asleep, only for him to wake up the minute his head hits the mattress? Try putting him down when hes completely asleep.
How can you tell? One way is to go by the clock. The first 15-20 minutes after he falls asleep is still active sleep, where he can easily wake up.
Another trick is to lift his arm and let go. If he moves and stirs, then hes still in active sleep, but if his arm is limp and flops down, then hes likely in deep sleep.
Discover how to get your baby to nap in a crib instead of your arms.
If Your Baby Rolls Onto Their Tummy
Once your baby can move themselves from their back to their front and back again by themselves, they will be able to find their own sleeping position.
The first few times they roll onto their tummy, you might like to gently turn them back, but do not feel you have to get up all night to check. Give them some time to play on their tummy while they are awake to help their development, but make sure you supervise them while they are on their front.
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Keep Your Baby Comfortable
Before putting your baby in the crib, check that theyâre comfortable. Does your little one need a diaper change or a feeding? Is your baby dressed in appropriate layers for warmth, but not overdressed? Is the room temperature cool but comfortable? A quiet, cozy, and calm environment will go a long way in helping your baby fall asleep. A few other ways to keep your baby comfortable and soothed while falling asleep include the following:
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Darken the room by turning off the main lights and drawing the shades.
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Turn on a night-light so thereâs a little light to calm your baby.
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Play some soothing sounds to help make your baby sleepy, such as soft music or white noise.
To Smartphone Or Not To Smartphone
One of the most popular ways of passing time in the small hours is to check your phone. WhatsApping your NCT friends can be a great way to feel connected and get emotional support during night feeds. Checking the latest celebrity gossip can also make the time pass quicker!
Just bear in mind that mobiles might not always be the best distraction. Fran says: There is some research that indicates that the light from smartphones can interfere with sleep patterns, so some families may find that it is easier to get back to sleep if you havent been looking at your phone.
Find a balance between looking at your phone and focusing on baby. After all, you dont want to be so absorbed that you dont realise that your baby is already asleep and you could be too.
Some mums find that Kindles can be a great way to pass the time. One NCT volunteer says: My husband got me a Kindle so I avoided being on my phone too much and it felt more relaxing if I could read Ive got through so many books over nine months.
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Your Baby Doesnt Know If Its Night Or Day
Some babies start sleeping on whats called a day/night reversal schedule. Your baby sleeps well during the day, but is awake and busy at night. Its frustrating and exhausting, but its temporary.
Here are a few things you can do to help your baby learn that day is for play and night is for rest:
- Keep them awake a little longer during each waking period during the day. This will help increase the need for sleep later. Some sleep experts recommend playing with your baby for a few minutes after a feeding instead of letting your baby fall asleep.
- Get your baby outside and in the sun . Natural light helps reset their internal clock. If you cant get outside, place your babys crib or sleeper near a window that gets steady, bright light.
- Avoid sleep-inducing activities, if at all possible, during the day. Dont fight your babys need to sleep. But if you can keep them out of the car seat for a bit, that extra time awake will help them later.
- Keep lights low or turn them out at night anywhere near babys sleeping area. Likewise for sound and movement. Your goal should be zero disruptions.
- Consider swaddling your baby at night so their arms and legs dont move and wake them. You can also try putting them to sleep in a small crib, so they feel snug and secure.
How To Keep Babies Awake Long Enough To Feed:
- Rub their feet and hands
- Wipe their forehead, neck, and face with a wet wipe
- Strip baby down to their diaper and un-swaddle or wrap them so they are not too warm and snug
- Burp thoroughly when you change nursing sides, or halfway through with the bottle
- Before a feeding, put your newborn on the ground for a little tummy time while you prepare to feed them, theyll kick around and wake themselves up a bit
When you begin nursing, encourage your baby to take a full feed. This will vary depending on the baby, but it will not be 5 minutes, then falling asleep.
If your baby falls asleep after only a few minutes, gently rouse them and encourage them to continue feeding.
If you can get your baby to take full feeds for the first week theyll naturally rest well, both day and night.
I know it can be super hard for you to get through this , but you will get through it. Youll likely do some contact napping during this period as well, which is precious and sweet in this early phase.
Theres a tendency to just let baby feed for a few minutes here and there and sleep here and there. This feels natural, but if you are a first time mom particularly its very hard to begin to understand babys cues.
Why?
Because baby seems to be fussing a lot and then falling asleep a lot and you dont know when theyre tired or when theyre hungry. THIS IS WHY routines are so beneficial to baby and mom.
Sample One Week Schedule:
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How Long Will My Baby Sleep
Because babies this age are more awake, alert, and aware of their surroundings during daylight hours, theyre more likely to be tired at night and sleep. But the range of normal is still very wide.
Infants up to 3 months old should get 1417 hours of sleep over a 24-hour period, says the National Sleep Foundation. Many will have settled into a daily sleep routine of two or three naps during the day, followed by a longer sleeping through the night stretch after a late-night feeding.
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Let Your Baby Work It Out
If you immediately rush in to help your munchkin fall back to sleep at the first noise you hear, you could be creating a cycle that will be hard to break. “As long as you know that they can’t be hungry, you can pause before rushing in,” says Turgeon, who recommends starting a “soothing ladder” from as early as day one. When you hear your baby fuss, pause for a minute and see if they can work it out themselves. “If they can’t, go in and do the least intrusive thingpat or shush but don’t pick them up,” says Turgeon. If that doesn’t work, you gradually climb the soothing ladder until you get them back to sleep.
“The point of the soothing ladder isn’t to make a baby learn to self-soothe overnight, but to give them enough space to allow their self-soothing skills to unfold naturally, over time,” says Turgeon. Plus, it may help you avoid a more traumatic cry-it-out situation down the road.
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Be Strategic With Diaper Changes
Changing your babys diaper can be a stimulus for your little one, making it difficult for her to go back to sleep. If diaper changing is revving up your baby, you may want to choose to limit changes to just poopy diapers and diapers that are exceptionally wet. Lightly wet diapers can wait until the morning. The tradeoff will be longer, more uninterrupted sleep at night for you and your baby.
My Baby Feeds To Sleep
This is fine and really common while baby is newborn, as babies are awake for such a short time and it takes a long time to feed when you are learning to breastfeed.
However, by 2 months, we recommend you always use the feed/play/sleep routine and put your baby into bed awake. You can start by putting baby into bed drowsy or relaxed from feeding and using patting to help her fall off to sleep.
If you continue to feed your baby to sleep this is likely to lead to your baby developing a sleep association with feeding. This means she thinks she needs to be feeding or sucking to fall asleep, and will also need this to resettle in the night. This is fine as long as you are happy feeding your baby to sleep every time she wakes in the night, but can get exhausting as the months go by!
The earlier you start to use feed/play/sleep the better, as your baby will learn quickly that she can fall asleep without feeding.
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How Long Should You Let Your Newborn Sleep Without Eating
Newborns should eat as often and as long as they want, so it may be necessary to wake your newborn if she’s sleeping too much to meet her calorie and nutrient needs. Frequent feeding is crucial for your newborns growth and development. Right after birth, babies lose up to 10 percent of their body weight and need to regain it quickly.
Keep in mind that while infants feed frequently, they usually consume tiny amounts, as little an ounce or two at a time. Portions and sleep times will both increase as your baby gets older. Heres a typical schedule for guidance:
- Newborns: feed every two to four hours
- 2 months: feed every three to four hours
Make A Planand Stick To It
Agree with your partner about what youll do when baby wakes in the middle of the night and who will do it. The number one way to fail is not to have plan, Ryan says. Set a date on calendar to start, and be consistent. Thatll make it so much easier for baby to learn.
Our infographic details sleep safety tips and advice for babys best sleep:
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Helping Your Newborn Sleep
Newborns follow their own schedule. Over the next couple of weeks to months, you and your baby will begin to settle into a routine.
It may take a few weeks for your baby’s brain to know the difference between night and day. Unfortunately, there are no tricks to speed this up, but it helps to keep things quiet and calm during middle-of-the-night feedings and diaper changes. Try to keep the lights low and resist the urge to play with or talk to your baby. This will send the message that nighttime is for sleeping. If possible, let your baby fall asleep in the crib at night so your little one learns that it’s the place for sleep.
Don’t try to keep your baby up during the day in the hopes that your little one will sleep better at night. Overly tired infants often have more trouble sleeping at night than those who’ve had enough sleep during the day.
If your newborn is fussy it’s OK to rock, cuddle, and sing as your baby settles down. Swaddling can also help to soothe a crying baby. If you swaddle your baby and they start trying to roll over, that is a sign that you can stop swaddling. For the first months of your baby’s life, “spoiling” is definitely not a problem. In fact, newborns who are held or carried during the day tend to have less colic and fussiness.