Creating Secure Attachment Tip : Learn To Understand Your Babys Unique Cues
As parents of multiple children know, there is no one simple formula for meeting a babys needs. From birth, each baby has a unique personality and preferences. Each babys nervous system is unique as well. Some babies might be soothed by noise and activity whereas others might prefer calm and quiet. The key is to learn your baby cues and respond to them accordingly.
Even though all of the sounds and cries may sound the same at first, your baby is communicating with you in different ways, using sound and movement. An arched back, a scrunched-up face, eyes tightly closed, fists curled up, rubbing eyes, hyperactive or frenetic movementall of these signs communicate something specific about your babys emotional and physical state. Your task is to become a sensory detective and find out what your baby is communicating and how best to respond.
Sometimes babies will fuss no matter what you do, as when teething, sick, or undergoing a big developmental change. When this happens, keep up your efforts to communicate with and soothe your baby. Your patience, love, and care benefit your baby even if they continue to fuss.
Watch out for peer pressure from well-meaning family and friends. What worked for their baby may not work for yours. By learning what it takes to calm and soothe your baby, you initiate trust, and your baby begins the process of learning how to self soothe.
Dads And Siblings Too
Babies who are held and comforted when they need it during the first six months of life tend to be more secure and confident as toddlers and older children.
Is it important for fathers to bond with their babies? Absolutely. New fathers often feel less confident than new mothers around a baby, and may feel excluded in the close relationship that develops between the mother and baby. If a baby is breastfed, fathers may be uncertain about what activities they can engage in with the new baby.
Like mothers, fathers need quiet time to spend holding their new babies close, gazing into their eyes, talking to them and comforting them when distressed. Fathers may wish to take walks with their babies tucked into a Snugli-type carrier or simply hold a quiet baby while reading or watching TV.
Brothers and sisters also need time and opportunities to establish a relationship with a new baby. You might offer young children who are too unreliable to hold a baby safely to have brief, supervised periods playing next to a brother or sister in a large crib or playpen. Such times often elicit unique responses of excitement and joy from the baby and allow loving relationships to develop successfully.
When Bonding And Attachment Arent Easy
You might have bonded with your baby the first time you saw them. But its OK if you didnt feel an instant connection. Bonding and attachment can sometimes take weeks or months of getting to know and understand your baby.
Here are some suggestions to help your bond develop:
- Take time to enjoy being with your baby. Caring for a new baby can be busy, but its good to spend time just being together. For example, try cuddling and singing or reading aloud.
- See the world from your babys perspective. Imagine what your newborn is looking at, feeling or trying to do. Discover what your newborn really likes and dislikes. For example, is your newborn a social baby who doesnt mind being passed around the family? Or do they prefer to watch whats going on from the safety of your arms?
- Be flexible. Most newborns dont have definite day and night sleep patterns. Its best to respond when your newborn wants to feed, sleep or play.
Youre the most important part of your babys life. If youre worried about your relationship with your baby, ask for help. Getting help when your baby is young can make a big difference to both of you. If you need it, get support. If youre physically and mentally well, youll be better able to provide the love and comfort your baby needs.
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Advice To Bonding With Your Newborn
While the bonding process will look different for each family, there are a few things you can do consistently to help guide the process and ease into this new life together.
Talk to your baby. Whether its describing how youre preparing babys bottle, your lunch, or whats going on outside your window, newborns benefit immensely from your communication. Sounds and words are all being quickly filed away into your babys brain truly a little sponge – and become their basis for speech.
Have plenty of face time. If you can be face to face with your baby while youre chatting, even better. Look into his or her eyes. Babies learn these exchanges by example if you smile, baby will eventually return it. And that first smile is something all parents look forward to!
Get skin-to-skin. Dont underestimate the importance of touch. Skin-to-skin contact has been proven to stimulate a chemical reaction in the body through the release of oxytocin, a neuropeptide that creates bonding. Make time for snuggles, knowing that every little touch builds your babys sense of security and trust.
New parenthood, especially on the heels of a surrogate pregnancy, requires a lot of adjustment. Its perfectly normal to need extra support during this time, and the team at ConceiveAbilities is here for you from beginning to end. Contact us to learn more about how we can guide your surrogacy journey.
Actively Engage With Them
Did you know that as soon as 8 weeks, your baby can distinguish between your and your partners parenting styles? Babies are very aware of and sensitive to whats going on around them.
Of course, bottle feeding them is a great way to spend quality time, especially if you talk to them them, hold them, and make plenty of eye contact. If thats not an option, here are a few more ways to get those bonding hormones going:
- Play with them, with tickles, nuzzles and other gentle, slow movements
- Engage them with toys, books, singing songs, and other mental stimulation
- Touch them with gentle massages, tummy rubs, and baths
- Change more diapers, pick out their clothes, and provide more general nurturing care
Relationships are built over time and the best way to build one is to spend more active time developing it. Soon, youll get to know babys cries, what sounds they like, and what makes them respond.
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Understanding The Root Of Your Child’s Misbehavior
Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their childs behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your childs temperament based on his birth order.
When Should I Be Concerned
Many new parents start to feel closer to their baby over time. If, after a couple of weeks, you find that you don’t feel more attached to your baby than you did the first day, tell your baby’s doctor and let your own healthcare provider know.
Some new mothers have trouble bonding with their baby because they’re struggling with postpartum depression . This is a common condition that occurs in at least 10 percent of births and can lead to serious problems if left untreated. Call your provider if you experience five or more of the following symptoms almost every day, for most of the day, for at least two straight weeks:
- Extreme sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
- Constant crying
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling that life isn’t worth living
Other possible signs of PPD include being irritable or angry, lacking interest in your baby, avoiding your friends and family, constantly doubting your ability to care for your baby, and worrying excessively about your baby.
If you’re worried that you might have PPD, there’s no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed about seeking help and treatment it’s the best move you can make for both you and your baby. If your provider thinks you may have PPD, she’ll refer you to a therapist or psychiatrist for treatment, which could include medication.
For PPD information and resources, including referrals to therapists and support groups, visit Postpartum Support International and Postpartum Progress.
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Breastfeeding And Bonding With Your Newborn
Youve spent months imagining meeting your baby now the wait is over. These first few weeks of breastfeeding are a special baby bonding time and the perfect opportunity for you to get to know one another
When your baby is born, you may feel an almost overwhelming sense of love, and a strong desire to protect her. But bonding is an individual experience, so dont worry if this isnt immediate. It will take time to get to know your newborn, and bonding develops and strengthens through caring for her.
For both parents, the important thing is to get used to looking after your new arrival being close to her, talking to her, holding and cuddling her. This increases your confidence as a parent and also gives your baby the best start, emotionally, physically, mentally and helps breastfeeding too.
Prepare For The Birth
When the big day arrives, youll play a huge role in the labor and delivery process. Being a part of planning and preparation can help you take on more fatherly responsibilities before baby is here.
For starters, help your partner make the birth plan. Together you can discuss the kind of birth experience your partner envisions. You might think through which hospital or birth center to choose, if your partner would prefer an unmedicated, natural birth or an epidural, and other important decisions.Youll also decide who you want in the room with you and what you want to pack for the hospital.
Also, take time to learn how best to support your partner during labor and delivery. Attend prenatal classes, ask what your partner needs and reach out to friends and family who have been the support person for their partners.
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Eye Contact With Your Baby
Newborn babies can see, but their vision isnt very focused. Their eyesight develops gradually over the first few months. By the time your baby is 2 weeks old, youll probably notice their eyes following your face.
You can bond with your baby and help them learn to recognise your face by giving them plenty of eye contact and lots of smiles.
Bonding With Newborns: Why Its Important
Bonding between you and your newborn is a vital part of development.
When your newborn gets what they need from you, like a smile, a touch or a cuddle, your newborn feels the world is a safe place to play, learn and explore. This lays the foundation for your childs development and wellbeing throughout childhood.
Bonding also helps your baby grow mentally and physically. For example, repeated human contact like touching, cuddling, talking, singing and gazing into each others eyes make your newborns brain release hormones. These hormones help your babys brain to grow. And as your newborns brain grows, your newborn starts to develop memory, thought and language.
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Navigating A Toxic Culture With Your Daughter
As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social mediaand many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism
Tactics 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions
In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. Youll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, youll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.
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Finding Ways To Calm Yourself In Stressful Times
Since babies cant communicate verbally, they are especially attuned to signs of anxiety or stress. Babies need outside help to calm down. But an anxious caregiver can actually add to the babys stress, making them harder to soothe. When you are feeling stressed, try to find ways to calm down before you interact with your baby.
Take a deep breath. This may mean letting your baby cry a minute longer so that you can take a deep breath before picking your baby up and trying to soothe them.
Team up. Dont think you have to do it all yourself. Try to enlist the help of your spouse, friends, family members, or a babysitter to help hold or care for your baby during fussy times of the day.
Take a walk. Fresh air and a change of scenery can work wonders for you and your baby. During particularly stressful times, try making a change in environment and see if it helps you and your baby calm down.
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Talking To Them And Explaining Routine Of Day
A lot of Moms at the beginning may worry that they are overwhelming baby if they talk to them while doing household tasks, but over the years, research has shown that babies who listen and watch their Moms talking about simple parts of their day, now Im chopping up veggies for salad, Look, Mommy is folding the clothes. Fold, fold, fold, this actually helps them with attention, language and connections down the road. And if Mom is talking and baby gurgles, she could answer, thats right I did say were having these veggies for dinner,” etc. Talking in a baby voice doesn’t help the youngsters. It’s better she uses regular terms and talks slower. General conversation and looking at baby when she talks about what she’s doing, will really work best to get her message across. As a bonus, baby will start to get familiar with the household routine and it will help him/her see the predictability of most of the day.
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Why This Matters To Me
The evidence on the powerful role of loving nurture in the emotional, social and cognitive development of children is powerful. Parenting is therefore more important than we could ever have imagined. Although I have published over 300 papers in medical journals and worked to develop IVF techniques, if Im really honest, the most important achievement is undoubtedly my own three children. I dont have any doubt about that. And all of us in different ways are capable of contributing to the next generation both as parents, health care professionals and as a society.