So Is She Really Crazy
There could be many reasons she acts this way maybe shes been hurt by you. Maybe she is jealous of the new woman in your life. Maybe she has a mental disorder. Maybe she is drug or alcohol addicted and cant process things correctly. Maybe she grew up in an abusive or dysfunctional home herself. Whatever reason she acts this way let me make this clear: Her behavior is not OK.
The thing is is that YOU cannot change her behavior only SHE can. By admitting that she has a problem and getting help. Nothing you say or do for her at this point will probably matter except to keep you in that sick toxic state that I call crazy-making. And if allowed to continue, she will drag the children into her sick way of handling things.
The best thing you can do for her, yourself and your child is to remove yourself from the situation. And I mean fast.
Before you or her end up in jail or worse.
And importantly, get a good counselor to talk to. You have many more years to deal with mama. You cant change her but you can change how YOU react. And that will be the best thing you can do to help yourself and your children.
Best of luck with your family.
How To Play With A Newborn
It might not seem like your newborn wants to do much other than sleep and eat for the first months of life. But rest assured your little ones brain is developing rapidly.
A newborn will recognize their parents voices in their first days of life. Talk and read to them often. They also love to see faces.
In the first few months, you can introduce them to the following:
Your newborn wont remember you playing with them, but theyre learning important skills during this time, like interacting with you and the world around them.
If youre concerned about your babys development, talk to their pediatrician.
Set Their Nights Up For Sleep
While you need to be flexible with newborns , you can encourage good sleep habits by implementing a basic bedtime routine at around one month oldlike a fresh diaper, pyjamas, feeding and cuddles. Keep the external stimuli to a minimum, says Jewson. This means a dark room, ideally with no visible blue light of any kind, such as from a sound machine or your smartphone. Practise this same low-stimuli approach through the night.
If youve heard of a folk remedy that says you can fix your babys day/night confusion by flipping them head over heels, dont try it. Hall says shes never seen evidence that would support that approach, and that flipping a baby vigorously could cause injury.
At Chartiers house, they followed their first-borns backwards schedule at first, but at around five months, shed had enough and introduced her baby to a bedtime routine, including a set bedtime, a bottle and a bath. It worked, and memories of too many sleepless nights caused Chartier to address her subsequent two childrens reversed sleep patterns sooner. Both kids were introduced to a bedtime routine similar to her first-borns before they hit four months. And just like with her son, her younger two babes embraced the practice within weeks of implementation and began sleeping more during the nights. The routine did the trick, shifting her kids onto a normal sleep schedule within weeks of implementation.
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Advice For Every Parent
Did you know that up to 75% of each meal goes to build your baby’s brain? Or that over 80% of your babys brain is formed by the age of 3?*
With every hug and every kiss, with every nutritious meal and game you play, youre helping to build your babys brain.
Here are some tips to help give your child the best start in life:
Try To Coordinate Naps
Its easier said than done, but coordinating nap time so that both your infant and your toddler are asleep at the same time can go a long way toward saving your sanity during the day. Your toddlers naps are more likely to be stable and predictable, so work to get one of your infants naps to happen at the same time.
You can try putting them both down at the same time. This is particularly effective if they share a room. Or try getting your toddler to sleep first, as they usually will sleep for a longer time. Then, put down your baby. Alternatively, you might put your baby down and then lie down with your toddler. This is a good tactic if you want a short nap, too. It may be trial and error at first, but making the effort to synchronize naps will pay off.
If your efforts misfire, use your infant’s nap time to spend quality time with your toddler and vice versa. Having a few minutes alone with each child can help you all to feel more grounded and connected. It also can give you a chance to check in and be more present with each other.
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How Much Do Newborn Babies Sleep
A newborns schedule can feel unpredictable. Newborns will sleep an average of eight to nine hours in the daytime. They may sleep up to another eight hours total at night. But this wont usually be for the same stretch of time.
Newborns also have very small stomachs. Theyll need to get up about every three hours to eat until around 3 months of age. Once theyre a little older, theyll be able to go longer between feedings.
Some babies will sleep through the night starting at 4 months. Others wont sleep through the night until later. Your pediatrician is your best resource for letting you know how often your newborn will need to be fed throughout the night as they grow.
Challenge #: Toddler Is Jealous Of The Newborn
This is so normal and expected. For your childs entire life, he ruled the roost. He was your pride and joy, and there were no other children getting in the way.
Now, a baby is present. And not only are you focusing on the baby, you arent feeling all that patient with your toddler becausewoahyou just had a baby.
Much of a toddlers acting out during this time is related to intense emotions around the change. You can help your child process and move forward using empathetic parenting. It may sound something like this:
You wish everything would go back to the way it was before. You wish you had mommy all to yourself and that the baby wasnt here. Now, mommy takes care of the baby and you want to play. This isnt going the way you wanted it to. This is hard.
You can change the words to suit. The most important thing is to empathize with your childs situation and help them feel heard, even if it seems illogical to you.
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Feeling Overwhelmed With A Fussy Infant
Many breastfeeding moms question themselves and their milk supply first when baby is crying. Remember, not all crying is related to hunger.
If theres one thing you expect as a new parent, its that your little one will cry. Babies cry because its their only way of communicating. But some babies cry for hours on end and its easy for parents to feel overwhelmed by this new, fussy baby.
Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps And Start A Bedtime Routine
Babies under the age of 1 should always be put to sleep on their backs never on their sides or stomachs because back sleep minimizes the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. After the American Academy of Pediatrics began recommending that babies be put to sleep on their backs, the incidence of SIDS dropped by more than half.
At first, newborns sleep a lot about 16 to 17 hours a day but that sleep is broken up every hour or two by periods of wakefulness. In the early weeks, your baby will mostly wake just long enough to be fed and changed, said Massachusetts-based certified pediatric sleep consultant Arielle Greenleaf. Since your baby will also be awake for short periods throughout the night, which will inevitably disrupt your sleep, in order to stay well rested, you should absolutely sleep when your baby sleeps, she said.
Its also fine to let your baby fuss for a few minutes at night if shes not hungry or soiled you dont have to rock or hold her constantly. Let them see if they can naturally fall asleep on their own, said Dr. Angela Mattke, M.D., a pediatrician at the Mayo Clinic Childrens Center in Rochester, Minn.
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How To Manage When Your Baby Always Wants To Be Held
There is not much thats better than snuggling and holding your new baby. But as much joy as it brings, it can also get overwhelming. So what do you do when your baby wants to be held all the time, but you still need to manage life as well as get some time to yourself?
We have 8 tips that will help you get through the early stages of babyhood when your little one always wants to be held. Hopefully it will be exactly what you need to multitask while getting a little extra calm and quiet in your otherwise busy, new parent life.
Remove Anything That May Be Causing Stimulation
Lights, loud noises, and being around a lot of people will distract baby, making it harder for him to relax and fall asleep.
You will need to retreat to a quiet, dark room so that your baby can begin to relax and get ready for bed. This is one of the best approaches for how to calm an overtired baby.
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Talk To Other Parents
There will be some new parents whose babies sleep through the night but if this is not you, dont worry. Although it may feel like it in the middle of night, youre not alone. Most parents will have reassuring stories to tell about sleepless nights. They may even have a few useful tips of their own that may help.
Ways To Soothe Without Overfeeding Your Baby
Try these tips to soothe your baby:
- Reduce stimulation. Turn or move baby away from a busy environment, like a room with older kids playing. In public, take your baby to a quieter spot, and sing to or rock them.
- Play with them. Try making eye contact and talking to them, showing them black-and-white or brightly colored pictures or toys, shaking a rattle or showing baby their reflection in the mirror.
- Use repetitive motion with soft sounds. Think rocking, bouncing, rubbing their back, speaking or singing softly, over and over.
- Find a routine that works for your baby. For example, some babies like to play, sleep, eat and repeat.
- Try a pacifier. Babies are born to suck, so pacifiers are often soothing.
- Help them sleep. Babies can only stay up for a few hours at a time they might be irritable because they need help falling asleep. Try the tips above to help baby nod off without a fuss.
Sometimes babies cry, even after youve done everything you can to console them. Many babies have a fussy time of day. Or your baby might be gassy or sick.
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What Colic Looks And Sounds Like
Parents of babies with colic often say that the babies look like they are angry or in pain, have gas, or are trying to go to the bathroom without success. Other characteristics of a baby with colic:
- Higher pitched, more frantic crying
- Sudden crying, starting out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason
- Rigid or stiff body, often with clenched fists
- Bent legs and stomach may feel hard
Surround Yourself With Supporters
Talk to your partner, relatives or friends about how youre feeling. If youre worried about anything, pick up the phone to your midwife, health visitor or GP.
Remember the old saying about how it takes a village to raise a child. You cant do this alone, no matter what your situation, so learn to ask for help.
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What Are The Signs Of Separation Anxiety
A child with separation anxiety becomes extremely upset when a parent leaves. For some children, the idea of being alone is very scary. A child with infant separation anxiety will be inconsolable and continue to exhibit extreme distress as long as the parent is gone. There are many signs of separation anxiety disorder in infants and children that may include:
1) Clinging or crying:
As well separation anxiety babies refuse to be held or comforted by anyone other than a parent. Sometimes the baby will seem clingy and cry constantly when separated from a parent. Even if that parenting doesnt normally provide much physical contact. The child might cling or cry when forced to spend time with people who arent the primary caregiver. Many children will refuse to do things like sleep away from home, visit relatives and attend daycare.
2) Suddenly awaken at night and crying:
Infants who suffer from separation anxiety disorder will often awaken at night or very early in the morning. They are inconsolable and will only calm down when they are reunited with their primary caregiver. Suddenly awakening at night is another sign to know about the robust separation anxiety babies. Separation anxiety persists at night time when the baby is having sleep issues.
3) Refuse to sleep without parents:
4) Physical illness:
5) Emotional temper tantrums:
Challenge #: Toddler Acts Aggressively Towards Newborn
It never surprises me when an older sibling acts aggressively towards a newborn sibling. Toddlers experience a big life change when a newborn baby comes into their world. Everything that was once theirs is now shared, including mom.
You can help your toddler learn how to interact peacefully through simple coaching. I almost always use a Language of Listening approach in these types of situations.
When a toddler acts aggressively, you want to calmly, yet confidently intervene using the least amount of physical boundary to keep both kids safe. This may be a hand or an arm to prevent your toddler from doing harm. Then you can start coaching your child to make a better choice. It might sound something like this:
You really want to bite something right now. You can bite this pillow. Or you can bite this toy.
You are getting very close to your sister. She doesnt like it. Those touches are too rough. You can hit this pillow. Or you can hit the chair.
You can also point to the object that is safe for your child to bite or hit. Non-verbal communication works brilliantly with emotionally revved toddlers.
Each time your toddler makes a better choice, hitting, biting or kicking an object rather than his sibling, name those strengths.
You hit the chair instead of your sister. That shows self-control.
You bit the pillow instead of the baby. That was a safe choice.
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