Here Are Donts For Baby Care
- Warm, responsive parenting is a strong predictor of positive child outcomes.
- Babies should not be ignored, left alone to cry, or punished.
- Babies are meant to be held and should feel welcome in a parents arms.
Note: Babies refers to age 0-2 or so.
When I had a puppy, he hated to be ignored or left alone. At those times he would chew up the furniture. Babies hate these things too, but they cant damage the furniture to let us know. Instead, their development gets undermined and we and society have to live with the anxious and depressed results.
What should we NOT do to babies?
1. Ignore them
Under natural birth conditions, newborns are ready to communicate with mother, father and others. Colwyn Trevarthen has videos showing newborn communication with a parent. Of course, they cannot talk but they can grunt and move their arms . Some mothers communicate with the baby in the womb through singing, reading, talking, or even thumping. In indigenous cultures, the mother is responsible for shaping the spirit of the child with communications like these to the baby before and after birth, even creating a unique song for that child .
2. Let them cry
Imagine being in pain and asking for help and being ignored. How does that make you feel about yourself and about your family ? Its so much worse for a baby he has rapidly growing brain systems that are learning their dance patterns for social living and for physiological functioning.
3. Leave them alone
5. Punish them
References
How Is Colic Treated
There are many tips for helping to soothe and deal with a colicky baby. Know that this is a common problem for new babies. Talk with your child’s healthcare provider to find out more about colic and what you can do.
If your baby is bottle-fed, it may help to use a curved bottle. This lets you hold your baby in an upright position.
To reduce the amount of air your baby swallows during feeding, burp your baby often. Using a bottle with a collapsible bag or liner may also help.
Learning how to understand your baby’s cry can help in dealing with colic. It takes some time for parents and babies to get used to each other. Also remember that its normal for babies to cry for a certain amount of time every day.
What works for one baby may not work for another. Other suggestions to try include:
If your baby is bottle-fed and these methods dont work, your childs healthcare provider may recommend a 1-week trial of a non-milk-based formula.
If you breastfeed your baby, the provider may suggest that you avoid foods that are likely to cause an allergic reaction. This means that you should not have milk, eggs, nuts, or wheat for a period of time.
Dealing with a colicky baby is stressful. It may help to let someone care for your baby from time to time. Ask an adult family member, friend, or a responsible babysitter. Its important to take a break. Taking care of yourself and reducing your stress level may help your baby as well.
Causes Of Excessive Crying
All babies are different. At 6 to 8 weeks, babies often cry for a total of 2 to 3 hours in a 24-hour period. Some babies seem to cry more than others. Crying can last for 5 hours in a 24 hour period, or more. When a baby is crying a lot it is sometimes called colic.
Babies with a lot of crying dont usually have any obvious physical or medical reason for crying. They are usually feeding and gaining weight normally. This has been called the period of purple crying. This is a phase in a babys life and usually improves by the time the baby is aged 3 to 4 months.
If your baby cries a lot, it can be very tiring and confusing trying to work out why and what to do. You may also get a lot of advice from many different people, but consider only what is safe and feels right for you.
You May Like: How To Treat Jaundice In Newborns At Home
Will It Ever End
Rest assured every parent has felt overwhelmed by their babys crying at some point. Its OK to take time out for a few minutes. Make sure your baby is safe in their cot or basket and give yourself a break. If possible, get your partner, a family member of good friend to take over.
At six months, babies cry less as they find more and more ways to communicate, become more self-confident and able to work out the world for themselves. It wont happen overnight, and there will be plenty of tears to come but as with every stage of a babys life, this phase wont last forever.
Your Child Wants Attention
Sometimes it seems like the tears come out of nowhere. One minute your child is playing happily, you turn your back for a second, and they’re sobbing.
Your child knows that crying is a great way to get your attention. Attentioneven when its negativereinforces a child’s behavior. If you respond by saying Stop screaming, or Why are you crying now? it can actually encourage your childs tantrums to continue.
Ignore attention-seeking behavior whenever possible. Avoid making eye contact and dont start a conversation when your child is looking for your attention. Eventually, they’ll see that its not fun to throw a tantrum or scream loudly when they do not have a captive audience.
Show your child that they can get your attention by playing nicely, using kind words, and following the rules. Offer frequent praise for these behaviors and your child will be less likely to try and use tears to capture your attention.
Give your child regular doses of positive attention. Set aside a few minutes every day to get down on the floor with them, play a game, or toss a ball back and forth. Your child will be less likely to cry for attention if you give them a few minutes to be in the spotlight every day.
Read Also: How Many Diapers Newborn Use A Day
How To Comfort A Fussy Baby
Observe and Learn
Identifying, as best you can, the reason for your babys crying will help you figure out how to respond to him in the most sensitive and effective way. The following questions can help guide you:
- Are there certain times of day when your baby is fussier?
- Are there specific situations that lead to crying such as visits to busy, noisy places where your baby is overwhelmed by all of the stimulation?
- Are there differences in her cries for hunger, fatigue, boredom, anger, feeling overwhelmed? For example, many babies will look away and arch their backs, in addition to fussing and crying, when they are overstimulated and need a break from play and interaction.
More specifically:
-
Is your child sick? Teething? Tired? Hungry? Sad? Mad?
-
Has there been a recent change in his world that may be making him feel less safe and secure overall? Perhaps he recently made the switch from bassinet to crib, or nana has just left after a long visit.
-
Is your childs fussiness mostly around feeding? For example, does your baby tend to take a few sips from the breast or bottle, then arch her back, cry or fuss, and turn away?
-
Frequent irritability , back arching, stiffening of the legs, and head turning may be symptoms of reflux. If you are seeing these symptoms, it is best to consult with your childs health care provider to determine the appropriate response.
Respond Based on Your Best Understanding of the Behavior
Look for ways to support your baby and yourself:
Living With Colicky Baby
Having a colicky baby can be very stressful for parents. It can make you feel tired, guilty, and even depressed. Your baby’s healthcare provider can suggest some things to do that may help to calm your baby. Its important to know that colic is a common condition in young babies. It will go away on its own, often by age 3 months. In most cases it is gone by age 6 months.
If possible, have someone else watch your baby when you become stressed. If no one else is available, make sure your baby is safe and go into another room. Distract yourself from your baby’s cries. Crying will not hurt your baby. Some communities have free or low-cost care called respite nurseries. You can leave your baby there for short periods of time.
Also Check: What Do I Need For My Newborn Baby
Pay Attention To Your Babys Signals
The whole world comes to your baby through their senses, and every baby has different sensory needs, which is why one baby might love to be held and another doesnt or one baby will cry because of a wet diaper and another will ignore it and continue to play happily.
Get to know your babys preferences by engaging all of your senses as you try to figure out what your baby needs. Try being especially attentive to:
Changes in mood. Do your babys mood changes seem to coincide with environment changes, the time of day, or in relation to food or naps? For example, if your baby is cranky in the late morning, watch to see if they are sending signals that youre missinglike an isolated yawn or eye rubbing.
Reactions to different situations and environments. Babies often send signals that we as adults just dont notice. Your baby might get overstimulated if too many people are around or become especially upset about schedule changes.
Differences in your babys cries. At first all cries will sound the same, but, gradually, you will hear how the Im hungry cry is very different from the Im tired cry. Notice noise level, pitch and intensity of the cry, as well as your babys body language and facial expressions. An arched back, a scrunched-up face, eyes tightly closed to shut out the light, fists curled up, rubbing eyes, hyperactive or frenetic movementall of these signs communicate something specific about your babys emotional and physical state.
In Babies Over 3 Months
Newborn crying has a physiological basis, such as hunger, and infants this young rely on a parent to soothe them, explains Patti Ideran, OTR/L CEIM, a pediatric occupational therapist who focuses on treating infants with colic, crying, and sleeping or feeding difficulties.
Babies older than about 3 or 4 months of age have likely mastered self-soothing, by using a thumb, fist, or pacifier. But that doesnt mean they dont have their vocal moments. They may be frustrated, sad, angry, or have and use crying as a way to communicate those feelings.
Teething pain is also a big reason for crying in older babies. Most babies sprout a first tooth between 6 and 12 months. In addition to fussiness and crying, your babys gums may be swollen and tender, and they may drool more than usual.
To relieve the discomfort of teething, offer your baby a clean frozen or wet washcloth or a solid teething ring. If the crying continues, talk to your pediatrician about giving an appropriate dose of acetaminophen . You can also give ibuprofen if your baby is older than 6 months.
Here are the things to try if you have an inconsolable little one:
Recommended Reading: Why Does My Newborn Cry After Feeding
Consider Other Relief Strategies
If the cause of crying is still a mystery, try:
- rocking baby in a chair or in your arms
- swaddling your baby
- placing them in a windup swing
- giving them a warm bath
- singing to them
If you suspect your babys in pain, check hands, feet, and genitalia for a hair tourniquet , which can certainly set your baby off.
Never Shake Or Smack A Baby
Never shake or smack your baby, no matter how frustrated you feel.
Shaking your baby is against the law and from 7 November 2020 all physical punishment of a child will also be illegal.
Shaking can cause tiny blood vessels to break and bleed inside your baby’s brain. This can cause:
- fits
It can even be fatal.
If you or anyone else shakes your baby, get medical help immediately. Dont wait.
Recommended Reading: Is It Common For Newborns To Fail Hearing Test
Tips For Keeping Your Cool And Calming Your Baby Down
Remember that your baby has feelings. Babies are emotional beings and experience feelings of happiness, sadness, joy, and anger from the very first moment of life. If, for whatever reason, you are having trouble being responsive to your baby, your child will pick up on those signals. How would you feel if your spouse or parent was unresponsive to your signals or attempts to communicate? Thinking of your baby as an individual with a unique personality may make it easier to interpret and respond to his or her cries.
Choose some techniques for taking a time out. Strategies like counting to ten, going outside, taking deep breaths, putting your baby down and walking around the house for a minute, can all help you maintain a calm frame of mind.
Find a mantra. A mantra is a sound, word, or phrase, often said over and over again, to provide comfort and inspiration. With a crying baby, you may find yourself talking out loud anyway, and a mantra can help provide perspective, comfort, and energy to keep going. Some examples might be: Just breathe,This is hard, but doable, and All will be well.
Baby blues or postpartum depression?
Exhaustion, rapidly shifting hormones, and a challenging child might make you feel frustrated, sad, or even depressed. If you find yourself feeling depressed, worthless, or resentful or indifferent towards your baby, dont try to wait it out. See: Postpartum Depression and the Baby Blues
When To Seek Professional Help
If your child seems to cry more than you think is normal or cannot be consoled, talk to your pediatrician. In some cases, an underlying medical issue, like an undiagnosed ear infection thats causing pain, can be the cause of a child’s constant tears.
Once you know that everything is physically fine, you can work on reducing your child’s crying together. Sometimes, the answer might be simple. When your child begins to cryas they are bound to do every now and thenthey may just need a little time to calm down.
If they are old enough to talk about whats bothering them, take the time to have a conversation. Talk about how to solve the problem together. Even if you can’t magically fix the cause, your child will appreciate that youre there for comfort.
Read Also: How To Prevent Colic In Newborn Babies
Do One Thing At A Time
To stop the crying pronto, parents will often pile one strategy upon another, in quick succession.
Parents often hold, bounce, shush, sing, pat, change positions all at once! They also will try to change the diaper, feed, and finally pass off to the other parent for a turn. Oftentimes all these happen within a couple of minutes. The only thing this does is overstimulate the baby, says Ideran.
Instead, carry out one action at a time such as just rocking, just patting, or just singing and stick with it for about 5 minutes to see if your baby settles. If not, try another relief method.