Finding An Approach That Works
If your baby is still upset when you put them down for the night, have a look at some of the other strategies you can try . These range from controlled crying to no tears approaches.
If you feel you need help or support, make sure you talk to a friend or family member, your health visitor or GP. Or for feeding support call the NCT support line .
Bedtime can be a lovely, peaceful occasion for you and your baby. You will soon get to a stage where crying after being put down becomes a thing of the past. Even if it takes a little while to find out what works best for you both.
Why Do Babies Cluster Feed
Researchers dont fully understand why babies cluster feed, but there are many unproven theories. Cluster feeding probably meets a combination of needs that your baby has at this developmental stage.
Heather Turgeon, MFT, a psychotherapist and author of The Happy Sleeper, says, cluster feeding is likely a way for babies, who have maturing nervous systems, to regulate. It could also be a way to store up on food for the night.
What we do know about breastfeeding is that its a supply and demand system. When little babies want to feed, thats a good sign that we should let them, because trying to schedule or space feedings out doesnt give that supply and demand system the right feedback.
So while we can have theories about why they cluster feed, what matters is that we let them do it thats the way to establish and maintain moms milk supply.
Cluster feeding can be exhausting and you may hear people stressing the importance of a schedule for baby, but cluster feeding is a normal part of the development of many babies.
Is It Colic Or Something Else
Constant crying doesnt always point to colic. Your baby might have an underlying medical condition that remains to be diagnoseda strong possibility if he’s still crying inconsolably after 4 months.
Constipation: Your baby may be fussy because he is straining to eliminate hard stools, says Bryan Vartabedian, M.D., author of Colic Solved. Don’t worry too much about how many hours or days have passed since his last dirty diaper constipation is defined more by effort than by time, he explains.
Milk-protein allergy: A milk allergy can develop if you’re feeding a baby milk-based formula, or if youre nursing and consuming dairy. It tends to peak two to four weeks after a child is born. Babies who suffer from it typically have mucus or red streaks of blood in their stool and cry a lot. They also may develop a dry, scaly rash anywhere on their face or body, says Dr. Vartabedian.
Gastroesophageal Reflux. Reflux, or excessive spitting up, may play a role in some inconsolable crying. Reflux is fairly common in babiesa 2009 study from Italy found that a whopping 12 percent of all Italian babies met the official criteria. Unless the reflux is severe, Dr. Vartabedian suggests conservative measures like keeping your baby upright for 30 minutes after he eats or asking your doctor about a prescription acid-reduction medication.
Don’t Miss: How To Select A Pediatrician For Your Newborn
Your Baby Wont Sleep Alone
Since a high needs baby has more intense separation anxiety, sleeping in their own room rarely happens. Your baby may only be able to sleep right next to you long after other babies their age have embraced more independence.
You can try a little trickery you know, putting them in their crib after they fall asleep. Just know that this may or may not work. Your baby might sense your absence and wake up crying within minutes of being put down.
As a reminder, co-sleeping carries a higher risk of SIDS and isnt advised. So as tempting as it may be for everyone to have your baby sleep with you, the best option to keep the peace in this case would be to bring their crib beside your bed.
Baby Wants A Faster Milk Flow
Even very young babies can be quick to notice that pulling off, kneading the breast, etc. can cause an additional let-down, and can facilitate a faster, easier milk flow. Some babies become impatient with the slower milk flow following the initial fast flow at let-down. This may or may not be related to a slow let-down.
When a feeding begins at the breast there are drops of milk. Then when the initial let-down occurs , the milk flow speeds up quite a bit. At that time it may drip very quickly, squirt, or even spray. Some minutes later it slows again and the baby must continue to suck vigorously in order to elicit further let-downs. This pattern can continue through successive, multiple let-downs as long as the baby is continuing to nurse vigorously. Eventually, baby will learn that the flow will pick back up again if shell only continue to vigorously suck/swallow.
With bottle feeding, the flow is instant and continuous. The baby is required to work very little. Once a baby has had a bottle, especially a lot of bottles, she may begin to prefer the ease of bottle-feeding over the work of breastfeeding. She may become frustrated at the breast after the first let-down occurs and the flow of milk begins to slow.
Sometimes babies of moms with oversupply or fast let-down will also get very used to the fast flow and object when it normally slows somewhere between 3 weeks to 3 months.
You May Like: How Often Should A Newborn Drink Formula
What Does The 12
Signs of 12-month toddler sleep regression include altered sleep patterns, frequent night wakings, inconsistent naptimes, and cranky behavior during awake times. Such behavior is natural, and learning how to handle your toddler’s short-term sleep problems will help you develop better napping and bedtime routines.
Emotional And Psychological Discomforts
Its a scary world out there, even for the little guy who has mastered the art of saying Mama! and Vroom!.
Sometimes your baby cries just because the poor pumpkin is feeling scared or lonely and wants a little bit of attention.
Even nightmares can be very bothersome for babies and lead them to tears, especially when they wake up to find themselves alone.
Rubbing the forehead between the eyebrows normally helps calm the baby down from emotional disturbances
Read Also: Why Does My Newborn Have Acne
What To Do When A Baby Wakes Up Crying At Night
Parents often feel anxiety when their baby wakes up crying at night.
It is very important to stay calm and avoid making a big fuss about the situation.
The first step is to keep the lights off and do not make any loud noises.
Parents should slowly build the habit of letting the baby learn to self-soothe and not provide any comfort right away.
This will teach the baby steady sleep patterns as he or she continues to grow.
If the , try providing comfort without picking the baby up.
The more time the baby is picked up at night, he or she will continue to be restless and expect a reaction.
Knowing what to do when your baby wakes up crying is an important step towards creating good sleep habits that will continue as he or she grows.
If the baby wakes up crying hysterically on a consistent basis, it is time to search for alternative ways to provide comfort.
It is important to narrow down the overall cause of the hysterical crying and consider that it may be due to teething, illness, infection, or an uncomfortable temperature in the room.
Narrowing down the root cause will help parents to strategize and come up with a plan the will help the baby sleep better at night.
If the baby is teething or currently has an infection then the sleep patterns will stabilize once the issues are addressed.
Take some extra time to make sure the temperature in the room is not too hot or too cold for the baby.
Understanding And Responding To Your Newborn Babys Behaviour
Your newborn baby is working out what the world is like. The way you respond to your babys behaviour, especially crying, tells your baby a lot about the world.
For example, your baby might find out that when they cry, someone comes to give them what they need. This might be a nappy change, a feed or a cuddle. If that happens, baby will learn that the world is a pretty OK place.
When you respond quickly to comfort your crying newborn, your baby might cry less often overall. Its absolutely fine to pick up your newborn baby when they cry. It helps your baby feel safe and know that youre nearby.
You cant spoil a newborn. If your newborn is crying, its because they need you to comfort them. If you respond calmly and consistently, it helps your baby learn that the world is a safe and predictable place.
Also Check: What Is The Best Diaper Cream For Newborns
Tips For Keeping Your Cool And Calming Your Baby Down
Remember that your baby has feelings. Babies are emotional beings and experience feelings of happiness, sadness, joy, and anger from the very first moment of life. If, for whatever reason, you are having trouble being responsive to your baby, your child will pick up on those signals. How would you feel if your spouse or parent was unresponsive to your signals or attempts to communicate? Thinking of your baby as an individual with a unique personality may make it easier to interpret and respond to his or her cries.
Choose some techniques for taking a time out. Strategies like counting to ten, going outside, taking deep breaths, putting your baby down and walking around the house for a minute, can all help you maintain a calm frame of mind.
Find a mantra. A mantra is a sound, word, or phrase, often said over and over again, to provide comfort and inspiration. With a crying baby, you may find yourself talking out loud anyway, and a mantra can help provide perspective, comfort, and energy to keep going. Some examples might be: Just breathe,This is hard, but doable, and All will be well.
Baby blues or postpartum depression?
Exhaustion, rapidly shifting hormones, and a challenging child might make you feel frustrated, sad, or even depressed. If you find yourself feeling depressed, worthless, or resentful or indifferent towards your baby, dont try to wait it out. See: Postpartum Depression and the Baby Blues
And Remember It Is Just A Phase
Remember what we said at the beginning. These bedtime battles wont last forever. Mums on our forums agree that it will soon pass. On our forum, Theoldwomanwholivesinashoe says: If you stick to his normal routine, and dont give in to the crying, it should pass. We have had this with some, maybe all of our children. The worst was my eldest, who kept it up every nap and all night for a fortnight, but we kept going with his normal routine and it did stop. And MFMer Caroline Middleton agrees. Ive just found its a case of perseverance. The phase passes once they realise that theyre not getting their own way.
And dont assume your toddlers refusal to go to sleep in the evening is down to your parenting methods. Some toddlers naturally go through this phase, others dont. Who better to test this than a mum of twins
I have twin 21 month old girls and one of them is a screamer. It seems like there isnt a night that goes by that she doesnt stand, bounce, scream and cry in her crib. She and her sister are in the same room, in adjacent cribs and my other little girl sucks on the satin lining of her blanket and is perfectly quiet every night. Moe BLevins
About Rachel Waddilove:
Recommended Reading: How To Make Your Newborn Smart
Cluster Feeding Vs Colic
If your baby is fussier than usual, you might wonder if they have colic. Colic is similar to cluster feeding in that it can come on suddenly and often occurs in the evening.
A baby with colic usually cant be soothed with nursing or formula. However, a cluster feeding baby will be soothed during nursing sessions.
Colic is defined as at least three hours of crying for at least three days a week, at least three weeks in a row. It affects of all babies worldwide. Theres no difference in risk between male or female babies, nor between breastfed or formula-fed babies.
Colic symptoms include:
Why Do Babies Cry
All newborns cry and get fussy sometimes. It’s normal for a baby to cry for 23 hours a day for the first 6 weeks. During the first 3 months of life, they cry more than at any other time.
New parents often are low on sleep and getting used to life with their little one. They’ll quickly learn to find out if their crying baby:
- is hungry
- has a wet or dirty diaper
- is too hot or cold
Often, taking care of a baby’s needs is enough to soothe a baby. But sometimes, the crying goes on longer.
Also Check: How To Adopt A Newborn In California
Newborn Crying: What To Expect
Crying is a newborns main way of telling you what they need. Its a sound that can spur you into action, even when youre asleep. If youre a breastfeeding mother, it can trigger your let-down reflex.
Crying peaks at about 6-8 weeks. This period of intense newborn crying is hard, but it will pass.
Babies cry and fuss on average for almost three hours a day. Some cry for a lot longer than this. Most of this crying and fussing seems to happen in the late afternoon and evening, although every day will probably be a bit different.
As babies get older, they spend less time crying. The crying is also more likely to be spread throughout the day. And its easier to understand what babies need when they cry.
Crying is often a sign that your baby is tired or overstimulated. But newborns also have other tired signs. For example, newborns might pull at their ears or suck on their fingers when theyre tired.
Pick Them Up And Rock Them Gently
One thing is certain: your baby needs you. Pick them up, rock them gently, talk to them softly. Put them in a baby carrier wrap the closeness to your body will make them feel safe and secure.
Then, when they have calmed down, put them back down to sleep and stay close by until they have fallen asleep.
We need to forget the idea that its best to let them cry it out so as not to spoil them too much and that sooner or later theyll stop crying and learn not to call for attention through crying.
Young babies need our love and attention to grow happy and healthy.
At this early stage, its impossible to spoil your baby: contact between mother and baby is a basic need as well as a natural instinct.
Dont expect them to settle straight away, babies often need a good cry to let off steam and tire them out.
Recommended Reading: What Size Bottle For Newborn